Page 134 of Other Side Of Never
“He’s so closed off,” I murmured to myself.
I never knew when I’d show up, who I’d be with, or where, so it came as little surprise when I found myself ensconced in one of the Sage Ridge cabins with Hawk and Noelle and what should have been a private moment.
“I’m ready to talk about Hunter.To tell you what happened.The part I lied about,” Hawkley admitted.
My heart dropped into my stomach as I staggered over to sit down beside them on the couch.I didn’t want to relive this.
“I told you Hunter loved you first.”
I grimaced because I didn’t.Not really.Not the way he obviously did.
“That I was only beginning to develop romantic feelings for you.I told you about his one-year plan, how he intended to get the promotion and date and get other women out of his system before pursuing you.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face at my selfishness.Seeing the fear on Noelle’s face made me want to run for the bluffs.
“As you know, he continued to date.A lot.I assumed he wasn’t serious about you, and my feelings grew.”
She watched him intently while I watched them both.
“I planned to talk to your dad.With our families being as close as they are, I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t serious.”
Hawk was sweet with her.Tender.The harsh lines of his face as soft as her smile.They were perfect for one another.
He sobered.“I need to finish.I feel like if I don’t tell you now, I’ll never be able to tell anybody, and I don’t think I can continue like this.The guilt, Noelle,” his voice rasped as he twisted to sit back against the couch.
My mouth fell open.“Guilt?”
She threw her leg over his lap and straddled him, cupping his bearded cheeks in her palms.“Truth.”
“Truth.”He nodded.“Hunter came home.Told me he was ready to move on with you.He was so excited.”He smiled.“You know how he was when he had a plan.”
I remembered like it was yesterday.How afraid I was to leave Sage Ridge, how badly I wanted to please my parents, how suffocated I felt at times.
Much like Harley, Noelle had been my touchstone in those moments when I felt my heart and mind were splitting.
My eyes flickered back and forth between them, the ache in my chest at the pain I caused growing with every revelation.
“He asked me to be his best man.I was heartbroken.Jealous.But he was my brother and he claimed you first.I told myself I’d get over you,” he confessed.
A tear rolled down my face, quickly followed by another and another.“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
Hawk leaned his head on the back of the couch and swallowed hard.“A couple of days later, you tried to talk to me, and I turned you away.”He looked away, gritting his teeth.“I went home and fucking cried.”
“No,” I breathed along with Noelle.
“Then he started dating that model who worked at Susie Q’s.After a week of watching him joke around with you and go home with her, I confronted him.He told me she’d be the last one.That you weren’t in love with him yet, so it didn’t matter.It wasn’t like he was hurting you.”
I dropped my face into my hands.
“I…” His face contorted and he looked down, breathing out heavily.“I told him I wanted you.Told him you wanted me, too.”He swallowed, looked up at the ceiling.“Oh, fuck,” he blinked back tears, his voice shaking.“Told him I was falling in love with you.”
He sucked in a breath and exhaled a sob he quickly swallowed.His chest heaved.
“No, Hawkley,” I choked out.“I was in the wrong.You have nothing to feel guilty about.I was lost.It was just an accident.I wasn’t even speeding.”
Tears streamed down Noelle’s face.
“I’m so sorry, Noelle,” I sobbed, wishing I could hold them as they held onto each other.I rose to my knees beside them.
