Page 20 of Other Side Of Never
Easy as apple pie.
6
Skivvies
Thebreezedancedoverme as reverently as a lover’s hands.
Inhaling deeply, I sank deeper into the warm sand beneath me, content in the knowledge I had at least 30 minutes to catch my breath before they showed up.
If they showed at all.
Coming down to the beach with Anita’s ratty old picnic blanket over the last couple of months had easily become my favorite pastime.Ever.The whisper of the wind, the call of the gulls, the soothing hush of the waves as they rolled in and out, or their thunderous crash depending on their mood, knit the tattered edges of my frayed nervous system together.
Years of perching on the edge of my seat, one foot pointed to the left, the other right in an effort not to take a wrong step.
The working definition of ‘wrong’ morphing according to his ever-changing metrics.
Refocus on the present.
Breathing deeply, I did just that.
A few minutes later, much earlier than I expected, I worked to quell my smile at Isaiah’s whispered question, “Is she sleeping?”
Kian chuckled softly.“I think so, bud.We better be quiet.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of Isaiah.He was nothing like Gary’s sons, especially the older two.Isaiah was confident of his place in the world.His little heart was soft and open, not wary and closed off.
Jakey had been like that.I liked to think he retained some of it even now.I hoped he did.
Isaiah’s sweet question gently tugged me away from the pain of the past.“Do you think she’d mind if we shared her blanket?”
There was a pause, then, “I don’t think she’d mind if we’re super still and super quiet.”
“I can be super still and super quiet!”he whisper-shouted.
Isaiah crawled up beside me, his hand landing on my thigh when he lost his balance.His running commentary daring me not to laugh.
“Dad, you lie down over there,” he ordered softly.“I’ll be in the middle.”His voice slowly returned to its normal volume.“Is it okay if I’m in the middle?I like to be in the middle.”He paused, shifted to his back, then wiggling into the sand.“It’s warm and cozy.That’s what Nana says.It’s co-zy.I like that word.I sleep in the middle at Nana and Papa’s house.Can we go visit them soon?Did I sleep in the middle with you and Mom?”
“You did,” Kian rumbled.
“Lie down, Dad,” he ordered.“There’s lots of room.”
Kian grunted as his body hit the ground, a sound that probably shouldn’t have struck me as erotic, but the thought of how I might elicit that sound refused to be tossed aside.
This man was turning me inside out without even trying.
“You’re not doing a great job at being super still or super quiet,” Kian murmured, his deep voice coming from a mere two feet away on the blanket next to me.
Isaiah dropped his voice to a harsh whisper.“Is this better?”
“Probably better if you don’t talk at all,” he rumbled.
I bit the inside of my cheek, my lips twitching.Poor Daddy just wanted a few minutes of peace and quiet.
How sweet it was to lie there beside them.Once upon a time this was the only thing I wanted.
My chest tightened.Once upon a time, for a little while, I had it.
