Page 135 of Other Side Of Never
His voice strangled, a look of horror and disbelief flitting over his face, he continued brokenly, “He took my car.The one he bought and rebuilt with me.I went to my parents’ place to wait for him.You and Harley were sitting on the front porch…”
“It was a childish move,” I confessed.“You ruined my plan, but I was over it before I crossed the town line.I was blasting the music,” I willed him to hear me.“I wasn’t even angry anymore, and I planned to talk to you when I got home.I stopped at the stop sign but didn’t check the intersection.I just assumed…” I trailed off, unable to speak past the painful lump in my throat.
“The officer came to the door…”
I felt his horror.“I’m so sorry, Hawk,” I whispered, my voice husky with shared grief.
Arms locked around each other, they rocked back and forth.
“So much crying.Mom’s screams.Dad,” his voice broke, “My dad… the noises he made...Harley’s,” he gulped, “…face.”
My chin dropped to my chest.How much of this could I take?“It was an accident,” I whispered.“I didn’t mean it.”
Hawkley pressed his face to Noelle’s chest.“I lost…you that day.”He dragged in a shuddering breath.“I lost …him that day.I lost …me that day.And they lost everything because of me.”
“No,” I moaned.“You didn’t do anything wrong.Fuck!It was an accident!”I broke off with a sob then gathered myself together, hoping somehow, he would hear me.Leaning close, with my hand on his shoulder, I willed him to hear me.“I’m sorry, Hawk.I could die a thousand deaths for what I’ve done to you.”
Noelle wrapped herself around him.“Hunter would die a thousand deaths if he knew what this did to you.It was not your fault, baby.It was a fucking tragic accident.It was not your fault.”
A flicker of hope lit my chest.She could hear me.
“I miss him,” Hawk whispered.
“I miss you, too,” I whispered back, my voice strangled.“You were the best brother.The best.”
“Every day, I miss him.”Hawk continued.“Our last words…”
“I would have gotten over it,” I promised far too late.“I love you.I would have been your best man.”
Noelle rubbed his back.“I know, baby.But know this.No two brothers loved each other the way you two did.He would have gotten over it.He would have been your best man.And he would have absolutely spit-fire roasted you for stealing me away from him when he gave his speech.”
I huffed out a laugh.And found myself back in that room with the couches and the wide comfortable chairs with Him.
I wiped the tears from my face and laid my head on the back of the couch.“Why?Why did you make me see that?”
“I’m sorry,” he answered quietly.“It’s not easy to help them.”
“Why?”I pressed.
“He needs to let you go.He needs a way to say goodbye.”
I nodded and closed my eyes.“And I can help with that?”
“Can’t you?”
I opened my eyes and lifted my head.
Hawkley and Max moved along the wall of the cabin like a unit, nailing drywall over what used to be cheap paneling.
For a while, I just watched, assailed by good memories.
“Remember when we built a fort underneath the porch and that fucking feral raccoon chased us out?”I mused.
Max chuckled.“Remember the raccoon?”
Hawk snorted.“Fucking Hunter.”
“He had the worst ideas,” Max agreed with a grin.
