Page 37 of Not Another Beach Read
"I know it's not exactly what you need, but it's a helpful group for people who are dealing with someone else's addiction."
I quickly flipped through the pamphlet and set it on the table. Eden's nose came up from underneath and nuzzled my hand as I set it on my lap. She always knew when I needed comfort.
"I appreciate it, Sarah. I'll take a look at this later."
"I know it's not easy supporting someone while you yourself are going through so much. You must be worried sick about your sister. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to, or vent to, or just sit next to you and say nothing."
I felt my throat begin to close and tears burned the back of my eyes. I blinked hard to stop them, but a single escapee made its way down my cheek.
"Oh, 'Lyse," she sighed, leaning forward. She swiped her thumb across my cheek. "I'm sorry that you're going through all this."
"It's okay. We're all going through something, right?" I said. "Just look at what Jenna went through and how happy she is now. We just need to figure out how to get to the other side of this."
"Exactly," said Sarah. "Speaking of Jenna, I'm so proud of her and so glad she's getting a bit of help in the bakery now that it's doing so well. I feel like all she does is work and read."
"That sounds familiar," I said, "with the exception of golf."
"Yes, but that's not the most fulfilling life for someone in their twenties." She dug her phone out of her brown tote bag and looked at the screen. "Well, I better be going. I don't have too long before my mom has the kids in a time out t-shirt and I still have a few errands to run, but I wanted to just chat with you about Holly and give you that." She pointed at the pamphlet and tilted her head toward it.
"Thank you, Sarah. You're so thoughtful. I'll be sure to call if I need more guidance."
"You better," she said as she gathered her purse and stood.
I walked her to the door and gave her a big hug before she stepped onto the front porch.
"I'll see you at book club?" she asked.
"Absolutely," I said. "Unless I see you before then."
"That's probably more likely."
Once she made it to the bottom step and started heading down the walkway toward her car, I closed the door and leaned against it. I practiced pretending that I was okay. It had become a part-time job for me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to fool Sarah for very long.
I loaded the dishes from the night before into the dishwasher and was drying my hands as I heard the gentle patting of feet approaching in the hallway. Holly popped out fromaround the corner a moment later. Her hair wild, her face lined from a long night's sleep.
"How are you doing, kiddo?"
She leaned on the white-framed entryway. "Meh."
"Yeah, I can understand that." I fought the urge to go to her and rub her arms. Tell her I was giving her my strength. I knew I couldn't begin to understand what was going through her mind at any given moment. All I could do was attempt to distract her.
"I need to head to the bookstore soon. Would you like to come with me?"
Holly made her way over to the kitchen table and plopped down in a chair. She put her elbows on the table and dropped her head into her hands.
"Does it have to be right now?" she said.
"It doesn't have to be right now. I'm not leaving for another hour, so you have some time to wake up a little, maybe eat some breakfast." I looked over to the time on the stove. "Or lunch. No judgment. I was a teenager once too," I said.
Then I chuckled, thinking of how many hours of my youth I slept away, unaware that they were the freest times of my life. I caught myself with that thought. Life wasn't exactly free for Holly. She was probably sleeping so much as an avoidance tactic, which I also understood.
Holly's head popped up and she swiped a hand across the table to gather the brochure that Sarah had brought over.
"What's Al-Anon?" she asked, flipping it over to read the back.
"Sarah was just here," I explained. "She brought that over thinking that it might help me with some things that I'm dealing with."
"Isn't this for alcoholics?" she said as she finished scanning the back and set it on the table.
