Page 87 of Not Another Beach Read
"Thinking about that photography assignment?" Jenna asked, expertly folding almond flour into her own batter.
"Sort of. Just... everything, I guess."
Jenna nodded like this made perfect sense. That was what I loved about her; she never made me feel weird for the way my mind worked.
"Well, that batter's probably ready for the piping bag now," she said with a gentle smile. "Unless you're going for some kind of avant-garde deconstructed macaron."
I laughed and grabbed a piping bag from the rack. "Maybe next time. I promised Noah I'd bring him regular ones today."
It was Friday, which meant after my shift at the bakery, I was heading home to babysit Noah while Allison took a night class at the community college. Sarah was the one to suggest it. Since I already had a connection with him, it made perfect sense.
What Sarah didn't realize was how much I came to love those Friday nights with Noah. His endless dinosaur facts. His insistence that we build increasingly elaborate blanket forts. The way he always asked for "one more story, please Holly" with those big brown eyes that made it impossible to say no.
How's Allison doing?" Jenna asked casually as we piped perfect circles onto the silicone mats.
I hesitated, remembering another hushed conversation I overheard between Mom and Cat the week before. Something about notes on Allison's car again. I wanted to ask about it, but something in Mom's expression stopped me.
"She seems okay," I said finally. "Tired. But excited about her classes."
Jenna nodded, her expression thoughtful. "It's hard, doing everything on your own."
I thought about that as I finished piping my tray. Allison reminded me a little of my biological mom in the early days, before things got really bad. Always running, always trying to keep too many plates spinning. But unlike Rachel, Allison had the Sensational Six in her corner. And she was fighting tobuildsomething, notescapeeverything.
"Noah's excited about the Halloween party at Sarah's next weekend," I said, changing the subject to something lighter. "He's going as a stegosaurus."
"Of course he is," Jenna laughed. "And what about you? Decided on a costume yet?"
"I'm going as Diane Arbus," I announced proudly.
Jenna blinked. "The photographer?"
"Yep. Mom's helping me put together the outfit. Nobody will know who I am, but I don't care."
"That's the spirit," Jenna said with a grin.
Three hours later, I sat cross-legged on our living room floor, helping Noah arrange his dinosaur collection by species while he solemnly explained the difference between herbivores and carnivores for approximately the hundredth time.
"T-Rex possessed the strongest bite of any dinosaur ever," he informed me, making his plastic T-Rex chomp dramatically in the air. "Even stronger than a crocodile!"
"Wow," I said, with appropriate awe. "That's pretty impressive."
"Yeah. But stegosaurus carried those cool plates on their backs for protection," he continued, picking up his favorite toy. "That's why I'm being one for Halloween. For protection."
Something about the way he said it made me pause. "Protection from what, buddy?"
Noah shrugged, suddenly fascinated with his dinosaur's tail spikes. "Bad dreams. Monsters. Grandma."
I tried to keep my expression neutral despite the alarm bells ringing in my head. "You have bad dreams about your grandma?"
He nodded, still not looking at me. "She says mean things about Mommy. And sometimes she says I have to go live with her because Mommy doesn't know how to take care of me right."
My stomach twisted into knots. No wonder Allison was looking so stressed lately.
"That sounds scary," I said carefully. "Have you told your mom about these dreams?"
Noah shook his head vigorously. "It makes Mommy sad when I talk about Grandma. I don't want Mommy to be sad."
God, I knew that feeling. How many times did I protect Rachel from her own actions by keeping quiet? How many times did I shoulder burdens no kid should carry?
