Page 72 of More Than Chemical
“Madeyou?”
“You know how moms are—how good they are at pushing you into doing things that you don’t want to do even when you’re officially an adult.”
He winced, like I’d just slapped him upside the cheek.
“Come on, I bet your mom does the same thing.”
The pain across his face was still there.
“She does, doesn’t she?”
“I don’t know.” It took some effort for him to say those words.
A knot formed in my gut, cinching tighter and tighter. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I don’t know what she would do now that I’m an adult, because she’s gone. She passed away.”
My throat closed. I couldn’t breathe.Oh shit. Oh, double shit.
The skin on my face and neck felt like I’d brushed against a stinging nettle.
My stomach was doing somersaults now. “I’m sorry…but I thought…because there’s that photo of her in your room, with both of your parents.”
Dallas cringed. “Yeah. That’s one of the last good photos I have with her.”
My knees went weak. My heart hurt.
This conversation was nothing like a fight, but it felt weird. I should ask him more questions to ease the awkwardness. Or at least say something more to show him I cared. But I didn’t know how to go there. Where to start.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
An ache swirled in his eyes, clouding the spark that was usually there. I’d brought back memories of his mother, and I wished I’d never gotten that call from my dad.
“It is what it is,” he said.
We continued up the stairs in silence. This was not how the day was supposed to go, especially after how it had begun. In these past twelve hours together, I’d been as close to Dallas as humanly possible, but now, I’d never felt so far apart.
Twenty-Six
The Nightly News
To my dismay, Dallas also enjoyed the zombie show that Priya liked, so on Sunday night, after doing our physics problems for the week and avoided talking about his mother, we watched it in the fourth-floor lounge with a bunch of other people.
I kept my earbuds in to dampen the sound. The music always did me in. If they’d just get rid of the creepy sounds, I might actually enjoy the show. There were interesting characters, high stakes, and the need to work together to survive. All elements of exciting television.
At the climax, the tension got to me. Blood and guts were everywhere. I was white-knuckling the chair and at the point where I really hated this program. Like I’ll-never-watch-it-again kind of hate.
Dallas put a hand on my leg. “You okay?”
“I just don’t have the stomach for this.”
He squeezed. “Don’t worry, there can’t be much left. We can leave if you want.”
“No, I’ll make it.” I shut my eyes again and waited.
Finally, the show ended, and I sighed in relief.
“That was so awesome.” Priya was bouncing. “Did you see that one zombie with half a body?”
