Page 82 of More Than Chemical
My heart started beating faster. It might be as many as a handful of days until I saw him again.Please stop panicking, please.
I sat on his futon and dug through my pocket for lip balm, then popped off the cap and lubed up my chafed lips.
Well, if he could lay a surprise on me, I could too, though mine wasn’t even close to being as hurtful. “I saw my dad yesterday.”
Dallas jerked back. “You what?”
My muscles stiffened. I hadn’t expected my announcement to shock him that much. “We ordered Big Mike’s.”
He clamped his mouth shut and opened it again.
Strange.
“But I thought you weren’t speaking to him,” he said.
“I wasn’t, then I did, and now I’m not sure if I am again.”
He rubbed his forehead, then smoothed out his brows with his fingers. “I’m confused. Just the other day, you wouldn’t even answer his call.”
“I changed my mind and called him back. But it was all for nothing.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I paused. I didn’t know if I should explain it to him. Mostly because I didn’t know which camp he would align himself with. The you-should-be-nice-to-your-dad camp—the one Jay belonged to—or the I-can’t-be-seen-with-my-dad camp that I belonged to.
“He wants me to be at the trial.”
His face turned red. Now I was the one who was confused.
“Are you…going?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “No way.”
“Oh.” His shoulders relaxed. “That’s good.”
My eyes narrowed. “You think so?”
For some reason, I’d expected him to share Jay’s opinion. Not mine. I should be happy about this—that he was supporting me—but something didn’t feel right.
“Yeah, I mean, you want to keep your identity hidden here on campus, and if you go, your secret might be in jeopardy.”
He went back to his closet, and I stood to leave. A rush of blood went straight to my head, forcing me to regain my balance. There was something I wasn’t picking up on here. He agreed with me about my dad issues like a supportive boyfriend would, but he hadn’t invited me to come with him to his race.
He came up to me, kissed me on the forehead, and stepped back. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said. But of course I’d lied. There were millions of things I wanted to say to him, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. It was just too soon to put a label on our relationship or for me to nose around in his business.
I forced a smile. “Good luck this weekend.”
“Thanks.”
I left without kissing him back. I wanted to, but I didn’t, because I thought maybe, just maybe, I would lose my composure. I didn’t want to become a pathetic heap on his floor. I wanted to be the cool chick who didn’t care that I’d just been regulated to the back burner on the stove.
Back in my room, Priya was awake and getting ready for class.
“Hi-ee,” she said in a singsong voice. “How’s your boyfriend?”
“I don’t have one.” I sounded stiff.
