Page 75 of More Than Chemical
“Yeah,” Jay said. “I think you should.”
“But it’s so complicated.” I nibbled on the inside of my mouth.
He stared at me. “Life is complicated. But sometimes you need to suck it up and face it. You’ll be better off.”
“Face it, huh? Like face the source of my anxiety and maybe, just maybe, it will go away and I’ll finally sleep well?”
Jay gave me a knowing look and chuckled. “Does that mean Dallas hasn’t been the fix you thought he’d be?”
“For your information, he’s good.” I folded my arms together.
“Just good?”
“Very good.” I kicked his foot. “But as it turns out, sex as a remedy was like all the other ones I’ve tried. A total bust.”
He laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I find it hilarious that you spent all that time obsessing about how sex would cure your insomnia and then in the end it didn’t work.”
“It’s frustrating, that’s for sure, but Dallas and I are…well…we’re having a great time together.”
He nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.”
“Back to my dad. What you’re saying makes sense. But what if reconciling with him doesn’t work to cure me either?”
He shrugged. “At least you’d have a dad again. Don’t get me wrong, he made some really awful, terrible choices. And he’s going to have to deal with the consequences. That’s for sure. But are you going to refuse to talk to him for the rest of your life and never have any resolution for yourself?”
I sighed. This was why I’d come to Jay. I knew he’d lay it out for me. And deep inside, I knew I needed to move on and start the life I was trying to create for myself. The baggage wasn’t helping. And at this point, I’d try anything to help me get some sleep.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” I said. “But if things get ugly, I’m blaming you.”
Twenty-Seven
Dad Issues
The next day, between classes, I searched out a vacant corner in the student union and called my dad.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
His voice sent a sharp, painful twinge right through me.
“I’m so glad you called,” he continued.
My jaw stiffened.Glad.That was his response to our first exchange of words in months. My feelings were bigger, much bigger. As big as discovering a new chemical element on the periodic table.
“I’m not busy during lunch on Thursday.” I sounded a bit cold. “We could meet then.”
“Great,” he said. “How about that sub shop I love so much?”
“Huh?” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“The place with the fresh-cut deli meat and the good bread and dressing.”
“Do you mean Big Mike’s?” I asked.
“Yes, that’s it. I love that place.”
