Page 16 of More Than Chemical
For three days I’d missed talking to him. I’d wanted to tell him what had happened with Dallas. I needed his opinion. A guy’s perspective.
“So Dallas asked me to get coffee with him.”
Jay paused and finally stared at me without blinking. “You don’t like coffee.”
“I haven’t completely ruled it out.”
“I’ve never seen you have a cup in my life.”
I shrugged. “You’ve seen me have a shot of espresso.”
“Sure.” His brows melded together. “And if I remember right, you said it tasted like dirt.”
He was right. I hated coffee. That was why energy drinks were my go-to for caffeine. “Well, you can get other things at a coffee shop.”
“Jesus Christ, Ade.” He started rummaging through his backpack. “You don’t see it, do you?”
“I told him no.” My voice grew louder, and I tried to bite it back. “He asked me out, and I said no. Does that make you feel better?”
“Not really.”
“Then I suppose you don’t want to know that he also gave me his number and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it.”
He buried his head in his hands and then dragged his fingers down his face. “Emma told me all about his reputation. He’s not worth it.”
My body tensed.
At that moment, the TA came into the room and whistled for our attention.
I started back to my workstation. At least we were back to talking, Jay and I. Better, but not perfect. Things were still off, because I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why he thought Dallas wasn’t worth the time.
“Ade,” Jay called out.
I spun around.
“The guy’s going to cause you stress, and you already have too much to manage as it is.”
A burn traveled up my throat and into my nose. Nothing could be more horrible than being told you were an anxiety freak show and at risk of making things worse.
I swung back around.
Jay’s observations couldn’t be ignored. He was the only person at school who’d known me last year when the FBI arrested my dad on federal corruption charges and he was immediately terminated, thrusting our family into the spotlight.
Eric, my older brother, who’d played for my dad during all four of his college eligibility years, had no knowledge of or involvement in the scheme, but no matter—his future, like mine, had been wrecked. First, his name was scratched from a short list of Hobey Baker Award nominees, and then, though he’d been drafted years before, his NHL team refused to give him a contract.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, this past fall, the NCAA came down with sanctions. The worst ones being scholarship reductions and banning the school’s team from Frozen Four tournament appearances for four years even if the team had a good enough record to make it.
Back at my lab station, I went through my things, contemplating Jay’s advice. I didn’t need to be around a person who’d add to my anxiety. I’d listen to Jay and delete Dallas’s number. I’d put it in the trash and not think about it again.
Seven
Boy Texts Girl Back
Saying I was going to do something didn’t mean I’d done it. When I arrived at the dorm Friday night, I still had Dallas’s number in my cell. I promised myself I’d get rid of it by the end of the night, but my heart needed time—alone time—to catch up and accept what my brain had decided.
In my room, Emma, Priya, and Luke—Priya’s boyfriend—were finishing up soft-serve ice cream cones and wearing their Minnesota University hockey jerseys. It was game night. The hockey team—what was left of my dad’s former team—was at home for a two game series, and the three of them had season tickets together.
Not me, of course.
