Page 41 of My Fugitive Wolf
"We're not discounting your pain, but Kellen and Grace need to carve out their own feelings without you getting in the middle. He's had to live with her actions a lot longer than you have."
Feeling the sting of Stephen's words, Samara stayed quiet. Once they got to the suite, she pretended to take a great interest in unpacking her backpack while waiting for Kellen and Grace to join them. After three hours, she couldn't wait any longer.
"Something's wrong. They should have been here long before—" The door opened, and Grace entered with Kellen right behind her. Their postures were more relaxed. Whatever they had said to each other accomplished enough for them to have made their own peace.
Now it was Samara’s turn to feel lost and confused, so she retreated to the bedroom she’d selected. It had a king bed. She wasn't sure if Leo had arranged that or if it was just what was available. Either way, there was plenty of room for both Kellen and her to sleep, because not for one moment did she believe either one of them had the emotional energy for anything else.
Sure enough, Kellen walked in a few minutes later, with the canvas bag in hand. He paused to take a towel from the bathroom and proceeded to wipe off the soot, not looking at her.
If Kellen wasn't going to talk to her, she would take a shower on her own instead. Without uttering a word to him, she grabbed the travel kit Kellen had packed in her backpack and went into the bathroom. The hot water massaged her aching muscles but did little to calm her emotions.
She took her time drying off. Wrapping herself in a bathrobe she found hanging on the back of the door, she returned to the room, passing Kellen as he went to take his shower. He still didn’t say a word.
She stretched out on the bed as far as her body would let her. The mattress was firm, but comfy. The pillows were delightfully supportive. If she wasn't careful, she would fall asleep before Kellen could join her. She knew they needed to talk, but was now the time when he'd just reunited with his mother?
That's how Kellen found her when he left the bathroom, lying on her back staring at the ceiling. With a snap, his eyes turned from neutral to blazing hot, roaming over her body. With care, she bunched the neck of the bathrobe around her, hiding any skin. "Not tonight. Only if you want to be with me and not escape whatever it is you're feeling about Grace."
He thumped down on the bed, mimicking her by pulling closed his own bathrobe. "I'd imagined this scene in my head thousands of times, thinking about all of the things I would say to her if we ever found ourselves in the same room together. All these years, I wanted to pour out my grief and pain and rage at her.”
The long pause of silence that drew out almost made her reach for him. Almost.
Finally, he continued. “But when the time came, all I could do was forgive her because it wasn't her fault. When I asked her why, she said that she deliberately pushed me away so I could be safe. She's always known how dangerous Josiah is, how he only wanted more and more power for himself. She knew I could protect myself by then and that's what she wanted me to do. The further away from the pack I was, the better off I would be. When I didn't come back, all she could do was hope deep down that I was still alive."
"Do you believe her?"
"I want to," he whispered.
Samara rolled onto her side to look at him. "It sounds like you need to talk to each other a lot more before you can truly reconcile."
Kellen stared into her eyes, warm and deep and desperate for understanding. "I feel like I'm being torn apart. I know you have just as much reason to resent her for not helping you escape, but those feelings are for you and Grace to resolve between the two of you. I'm falling in love with you, Samara, but I don't know if I can withstand my desire if you're right and your wolf shadow is an alpha and rejects me. I don't know if I can handle my feelings for you, fight for you, and detangle the feelings I have for my mother at the same time."
And there they were, back to the same argument, the same excuse as before. Her heart slammed closed, even though she knew how desperately he needed comfort. She had to protect her own heart as well. Rolling onto her back, she returned to staring at the ceiling.
"Tell your wolf shadow that I'm not giving up. I…might be able to forgive your mother because I cannot even begin to imagine what her life was like living with Josiah for as long as she has. But, if I have to fight your wolf and your mother for your affection, I'll do it. I'm falling in love with you too, but if this is going to be a one-sided battle, then tell me and I'll walk away for both of our sakes."
Chapter
Sixteen
After her proclamation the night before, Kellen had turned his head away and said nothing. She understood why he wanted to protect his heart, which was under an enormous amount of stress. Samara made sure to sleep on the edge of the bed, her back toward Kellen. It was the only way to make sure they didn't touch if they rolled around. If they touched, she knew she wouldn't be able to control her desire to prove just how powerfully she wanted him.
Even in her dreams, the desire continued to build, pushing her toward him. The rising sun spilled through the cracks in the curtains, hitting her face and bursting the joy of the dream of Kellen giving her the most powerful inner strength, love, and orgasms to boot. Kellen still slept, facing away from her. Just as well, because she wasn't ready to continue their argument.
As she washed, she couldn't help but notice the blue tinge on her fingers was almost invisible. Her mood lightened somewhat as she dressed and headed toward the living room. The sleeper sofa appeared empty, and she found Grace in the kitchenette brewing coffee and setting out bagels she must have ordered from room service. The door to Stephen and Leo's room was still closed, so if she and Grace were going to have it out, now would be the time. They would just have to be quiet about it.
Damn the torpedoes. She pulled out one of the bar stools next to the raised counter and sat down, waiting for Grace to finish. Once she had the oversized tray filled with two different cream cheese containers and the lox piled high, only then did she turn to face Samara. Her gray eyes were wary but not with the attitude of someone completely broken.
"Why?" It was the only word Samara could say before her frustration at what had happened and her fear of what Grace would tell her collided, paralyzing her.
Grace tilted her head to the side, just like Kellen. The movement startled her but also reminded her that losing this battle might mean going on the run again. She wouldn't stay with Kellen's brotherhood if it meant facing him and his mother every day knowing that neither of them wanted her there.
Grace just sighed. "Why did I refuse to help you escape? I never thought you would succeed. No one has ever managed to get past the tree line, never mind burning the whole house down. Why was I so determined to keep you occupied with menial work? It kept you alive and away from Josiah when he wasn’t doing whatever he was doing to you. If you mean why did Josiah kidnap you? I have no idea. If we're lucky, the answer is in the canvas bag or the safe and lock boxes.
“If you want to know why I drove my son away instead of joining him when he made the run for freedom..." Grace's face changed from wary to sadness, "...someone had to keep Josiah distracted and prevent him from ever finding Kellen. I didn't know Kellen had made a pact with the other two. I thought he was alone in his quest, and I knew that someday, somehow, Josiah would find him and torture him to death. I would trade my own life to prevent that, even if it meant never seeing my son again."
"Does Kellen know this?" Samara asked.
Grace nodded. "I told him last night. He also told me about how you tried to kill your own wolf shadow. That's why we were in the lobby for so long."
