Page 52 of My Fugitive Wolf
His voice grew softer when he went on. "I left her, and it almost killed me. My heart couldn't let go, so I ran back to her, but by then it was too late. She'd killed herself and it was because I left her...."
Samara's own heart broke as a sob escaped Kellen's mouth. How horrible. Now she understood.
But his strength returned in a flash. "I'm a strong wolf, Samara, and I may not be as old as your grandfather was, but most days I feel that old. I don't want my heart broken again. If we awaken both your wolf shadows...it will be hard enough watching you struggle to reconcile the two so you can live as normal a life as possible. Watching you, knowing that I can't touch you? Can't sleep next to you? Can't even run my fingers through your hair and look into the depth of your eyes, wanting to bind my soul to your soul, and never allow myself to tell you just how much you mean to me?" He paused, his breath quick with grief and sorrow. "That would kill me, Samara. I'm strong, but not that strong."
She stood and walked over to him so she could reach out and place her hand on his cheek. He tried to flinch away, but she caught his face between both her hands. "I don't need you to be strong, Kellen. I just need you. I need your kindness and compassion. I need you to lift me up when I'm down, just like you lifted me into your arms when I cut myself with my knife. Those aren't weak traits. They're what I need from you to survive this. Can you please believe me? If I just wanted a brawny man that oozes charisma but wouldn't know charm if it slapped him upside the head, I could've stayed with the Riverstone Pack and taken whatever Josiah gave me, if Josiah would even allow such a thing.”
They were both breathing heavily, their emotions so close to the surface that she could see exactly what Kellen was thinking.
There was more he had to hear. "I'm sorry you were forced to make all of these awful decisions, and I'm grateful that your brothers have stayed with you and kept you safe, if not always happy. I want to be a part of that, but I want more than a sibling bond with you. I want you. All of you. Strong, stubborn, brilliant, silly, but always kind. Why can't your wolf shadow allow us to love one another for now and we'll figure out the rest after both of my wolf shadows have woken?"
For the first time since she first shifted, the thought didn’t completely terrify her but only because Kellen was with her. Would her confidence last if Kellen walked away from her? She wasn’t going to let that happen. So, she pushed what she felt at Kellen's wolf, just like she had in the van. Help me help him. This is his chance to have someone that he doesn't have to lie to, someone he won't lose to old age before himself, someone he doesn't have to abandon out of fear, and someone who can protect herself by his side. If you can't give him this, then you're not worthy of being his wolf shadow.
Kellen shivered oh so slightly, then shook his head, pulling away from her hands.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
He did the head tilt thing that she couldn't resist. He slid his hands up and down her arms, as if trying to keep her warm even though he was the one who shivered. "Nothing, it's just that, my wolf shadow is going crazy right now..."
He didn't get any further before he crushed her against his chest, his lips buried in the crook of her neck, one hand following the curve of her back all the way down to her backside.
"I want you, more than life itself," he whispered in her ear. "And it's not because of my wolf shadow. I can't resist you anymore. I may regret this afterwards, but my wolf shadow is tired of waiting and so am I. We want you now."
Thank you, was all she could think before following Kellen's lead as he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, kicking the door closed with a bang. The problem with having herself plastered against Kellen's chest and wrapping her legs around his hips was that she couldn't let go of his shoulders to rip off her shirt. She resented the damn cloth separating her from him but couldn't risk letting go or she'd fall on her ass and drag him down with her. That would hurt both of them, especially with her knife still attached to her bra, and the last thing Samara wanted was to hurt Kellen in any way.
She waited while he kissed every spot of her face and neck, stopping only to groan when she adjusted herself to give him more room to grind against her. After what seemed like millennia his lips found hers and their kiss seared her nerve endings, boiling her blood until she couldn't take it anymore.
He'd noticed the way she rubbed her hips against him, trying to make greater contact, because the friction through his jeans and hers made her want to pull him closer.
Next thing she knew, he whispered, "Hang on tight."
And she did.
First he bent his knees until her backside was flush with the mattress, then slowly with his abs tightening against her stomach, and displaying all the control in the world, he laid her back until he was on top of her.
At least now, with a lot of wiggling, she could remove her shirt and bra. She unclipped the knife and tossed it to the floor with a thud. They reached down to take their pants off at the same time without pulling away from each other. Losing that touch only forced a groan of need from her throat, so they lost that battle.
"So sorry," he whispered, "but I need you to..."
"I know."
She parted lips to capture his one more time before he rolled off her. Even though they both moved as fast as they could, it still took too long in her state to remove the last of their clothes and toss them on the floor.
"Get back here," she said. She tried to grab his shoulders to pull him against her, but he captured her wrists and pinned them over her head.
Instead of kissing her, he trailed his tongue slowly down her neck to the valley between her breasts. Then, he nibbled his way up to take her left nipple into his mouth. All the while he held the rest of himself out of reach, making her thrust upwards to try to get more contact, but missing because she couldn't arch her back far enough.
"Kellen..." She dug her heels into the mattress.
"Not yet."
"But I need..."
"And your writhing makes you so tempting, but not yet." To make his point, he moved his head toward her other breast, making her gasp as the cool air filled where his lips had abandoned her skin while new heat engulfed the other.
This time she tried to pull her wrists out of his grip. "Don't stop."
"If you keep making me talk, I won't be able to make you scream."
