Page 98 of Time Loops & Meet Cutes
She adjusts her position—to get friction on her clit, I think—and then her arms go limp. She collapses on top of me, and it only takes a few more strokes to find my own release.
And somehow, it feels like much more than the culmination of three dates.
Noelle has a dreamy, languid look on her face. She mumbles something about “before” that I don’t quite catch.
“You want to stay the night?” I ask. Casually, trying not to betray just how much I want her to do so.
“I do,” she says.
We’re both lying on our sides, still naked. Distantly, I register that the music I put on before she arrived is still playing. I’ll have to turn it off later.
But right now, I don’t want to go anywhere.
As I trail my hand over her skin, I’m hit with the strangest sense of déjà vu, stronger than any I’ve ever felt in the past.
“Sometimes, when I’m with you,” I say, “I have the feeling that I’ve done this before, in a previous life or something.”
She stiffens. If I weren’t touching her, I might not have noticed, but I can feel it.
I manage a self-deprecating chuckle. “That’s not a line. I’ve never said it to anyone else. And yes, maybe that sounds like another line, but I’m serious.”
“I know,” she whispers. “What do you think it means?”
I shrug, as well as I can when I’m lying in bed. “Just that we work well together. We… fit.” I open my mouth to say more, but I haven’t known her all that long, and I think it’s best to stop there, for now.
I mean, I reallyshouldn’tfeel anything more, yet a part of me feels like… I just know.
And yes, I might have felt that way a time or two before, but I was young and foolish then. Not that I’m a fount of wisdom now, but I’m not twenty-two anymore.
“Yeah,” she says. “I think you’re right.”
There’s an odd melancholy to her words, but then she rolls on top of me and kisses me, and I think I must have imagined it.
When I wake up in the middle of the night, Noelle isn’t in my bed.
I pad out of the bedroom in my boxers. She’s standing by the window in the living room, my bathrobe pulled around her.
“Hey,” I say, wrapping her in my arms. “You couldn’t sleep? Is something wrong?”
She steps away from me, and my heart drops. I probably screwed up, did something without thinking—
“It’s my sister,” she says, and that’s not what I was expecting.
A little drowsy, it takes me a moment to form a response. “Is she unwell?”
“She won’t speak to me, and I’m not entirely sure why. I don’t know what I said, though I can guess.”
It’s strange that Noelle wouldn’t remember, unless she was drunk or similar. But she doesn’t seem like the sort to get that drunk.
“What do you think you said?” I ask.
“My sister has always had trouble sticking with something. She switched her major a bunch of times, and it took her an extra year to finish undergrad. She started a PhD in history but quit after a year. She waited tables as she tried to figure out what to do with her life… then quit. I forget what she did next. At some point, she’d planned to go into social work, but she got disillusioned with that. She tried doing some freelance stuff, but that didn’t work out either. It feels like she can’t quite figure out her life, and that stresses me out. I never switched my major. I’ve had the same job since I graduated.”
“I haven’t.”
“I know, and that’s fine. Not everyone needs to be like me, and she genuinely seems to struggle more with working full-time than I do. And it’s not like she expects me to financially support her. I mean, I had to give her money once, four years ago, but stuff happens. I was happy to help. In fact, that’s part of the reason I’ve always been careful about saving money: so I can help my family if they need it. I’m not very good at knowing how to help in other ways, but at least I can do that.” She sighs. “But even though Madison doesn’t try to make it my problem, I’ve always been bothered by how she jumps around. I must have snapped at her. It’s unfair of me. After some things that have happened recently…”
She trails off and looks out the window. There’s a look of anguish on her face, and I wish I could take it all away.
