Page 116 of Time Loops & Meet Cutes
As she rides me, I try to tell her that. In the way I move with her. In the way I admire her in the late afternoon light, then pull her against me because I need to kiss her. I put everything I can into it, and she finds her release as her lips and chest are pressed against my own.
I don’t have complete knowledge of what happened in our relationship, but being together like this… I feel complete.
Pressure builds inside me, and I whisper her name as I come.
“Noelle.”
I know I’ll never forget it again.
Afterward, we lounge in bed. I’m content to laze here with Noelle as long as I can… until my stomach grumbles.
“Oops.” I look at the clock. “Just realized I forgot to eat lunch today.” I was so focused on her impending visit that I couldn’t think about food. “You hungry?”
“After all the work I just did? You bet.” She’s playful and relaxed, unlike when she arrived here an hour ago.
We take our time putting on our clothes, then venture to the kitchen. Justin isn’t home yet—he’ll be at the brewery for at least another hour.
“We still have the leche flan,” she says, “but I’d like something with less sugar first.”
“Dumplings?” Thanks to her story, dumplings are on my mind.
“Sure.”
I open my freezer. I have the regular dumplings that I buy at the Asian supermarket, and I also have two bags of homemade dumplings from the fall. A part of me wants to save them, but if I wait much longer, they’ll get freezer burn. Besides, it feels right to eat them with Noelle.
I take them out. “My grandma and I made these together, just before she got sick. This is the closest you can come to meeting her now—eating something she made.” Despite my smile, my voice wavers, and Noelle squeezes my shoulder.
I put some oil in a frying pan and cook the dumplings until they start to brown. Then I add some water and cover the pan with a lid. As I wait for the dumplings to finish cooking, I wrap my arms around Noelle’s waist.
“Did I ever make you dumplings before?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
“I apologize for my sins,” I say with a laugh.
I can’t seem to stop touching her. I lift the lid to check how the dumplings are doing, then replace it and return my hand to her waist. I went almost a week without being able to touch her, and that was far too long. I’m tempted to kiss her, but I’m worried if I do, I’ll burn the dumplings, and that seems sacrilegious.
After all, I can’t get more of these.
Eventually, the water has evaporated and they’re the perfect color. I deposit six in a shallow bowl for Noelle, the other six in a bowl for me, then get out the condiments.
We sit down at the table where we ate takeout last weekend, and I smile at her before reaching for a dumpling with my chopsticks and blowing on it. Noelle hasn’t picked up any of her dumplings yet, but she could be afraid of burning her mouth.
I bite into the dumpling, the juicy meat-and-vegetable filling taking me back to when I last ate dumplings with my grandmother, right after we made them. Back when I didn’t know how little time she had left.
Then the strangest thing happens. There’s a sharp pain in my head, and I choke down the rest of the dumpling and put a hand to my forehead.
“What’s wrong?” Noelle’s voice seems far away.
“I… I don’t know.”
It feels like someone’s zapping my brain. I drop my chopsticks, squeeze my eyes shut, and curl up on the chair.
“Cam?”
And then, as quickly as it appeared, the pain vanishes. It’s like the sun appearing after a storm, and I feel different.
“Holy shit,” I whisper.
