Page 12 of Time Loops & Meet Cutes
He was the only man I’d ever loved, and as I got used to being alone, papering over my injured heart with a bland smile, I resolved to never let myself be so vulnerable again. Seemingly mundane things had taken on extra significance. A funny TV show that I’d first seen with him, for example, was now too sad to watch.
Sure, I’d enjoyed being in a relationship, but it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want to curl up on my bed, sobbing my eyes out at ten in the morning on a Saturday, rather than going grocery shopping like I was supposed to, then eating instant noodles from the back of my cupboard because there was nothing else. I didn’t want to wrap myself in the hoodie he’d given me and torture myself by thoughts of what he was doing on weekends rather than being withme.
Two months later, those thoughts became especially bad when I discovered he had a new girlfriend. I couldn’t helpwondering whether he’d fallen in love with her before he broke up with me. Perhaps he’d even cheated.
That was when I spiraled.
One night, after finishing a bottle of wine andThe Notebook, I gave him a call. When he didn’t answer, I called him three more times in half an hour—that was what it took for him to pick up.
“Noelle,” he said, “what’s wrong?”
What’s wrong?Was he serious?
“You broke my heart,” I said accusingly, and then, through the fog of my tipsiness, I felt horribly embarrassed. Because I realized that, although he once would have been angry at the thought of anyone hurting me, he no longer cared.
He’d changed, he’d moved on, and I… hadn’t.
I hated the person I’d become after he dumped me. I never wanted to be her again. I would notletmyself be her again. The breakup had spurred a degree of chaos in my life that had been unmatched until the last several days.
I’d never believed in fairy tales, not really, but my parents—who’d met in a history class in their second year of university—seemed to have a happy enough marriage. I’d thought that might be something I could have too.
But I’d been wrong.
I stuck to my resolution: I haven’t dated anyone since Dave. Nobody in six years. But my goal isn’t to have a relationship with the man at the bubble tea shop. I just want to kiss him and see if it will get me out of this time loop. You know, perfectly normal stuff.
Frustrated by the lack of options in my closet, I put on a pair of gray work pants, a short-sleeve pink blouse, and some sensible heels, then look at the clock.
Shit! I need to get moving.
I hurry to the tea shop and manage to arrive at exactly the same time as before. I decide to order the Iron Goddess tea again so it’ll give me a conversation topic. We’re getting the same tea, what a coincidence!
He strolls in a minute later and places his order. Then he turns to me as I’m waiting for my drink and says, “Have we met before?”
“No!” My voice sounds strangely high. I open my mouth to say something else, anything else, but what comes out is, “Dajklsjfja.”
He tilts his head, as if waiting for me to clarify.
I run out the door.
The next day after lunch, I put on the same outfit as yesterday—it’s hanging in my closet, all clean—and head to the bubble tea shop at the appointed hour. I place my order and wait, and he walks in, wearing jeans and a dark T-shirt, as usual.
I’m determined to do better today. To at least say something that isn’t gibberish.
“Have we met before?” he asks as we’re waiting together.
“I don’t think so, but I come here every now and then.”
“That’s probably it.” He smiles at me.
“I’m Noelle.”
“Cam.”
There we go! I’m having a normal conversation with him. But how do I get from learning his name to getting a kiss so I can possibly break this time-loop curse?
“Doyouwantogoonadate?” I ask.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
