Page 109 of Time Loops & Meet Cutes
“How did that go?” she asks.
“Not well.”
“Have you tried to change jobs, since coming back to the so-called real world?”
“I applied for something this morning, and I’m going to look harder this weekend.”
I tell her a little more about what happened in the loop, and I tell her about Avery, but I don’t mention Cam. I’ll tell hereventually, no matter the outcome, but I don’t feel like talking about that just yet.
“What about you?” I ask. “Tell me more, other than our fight. Christmas. Cecil.”
“Right. You don’t remember when he was born.”
I shake my head. “I knew Mona was pregnant, though. Dalton told me in some of the iterations of June twentieth.”
“She had a better pregnancy than last time, so that was good.”
We spend the next half hour catching up.
“You know,” Madison says, “it often felt as if you were in survival mode when you didn’t need to be. Like our grandparents, at times.”
I think she has a point, especially after my breakup. Parts of me shut down, and I forgot to start them back up… until recently. My little sister has always been very smart.
“But you’re doing okay after your breakup?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She chuckles. “Don’t worry, that’s the least of my problems.” Her expression sobers. “The other thing that bothered me? I worried you thought I was like Uncle Matthew. Someone who constantly needed help because he made every terrible decision possible and took advantage of people’s kindness.”
Like my mother’s relationship with her sister, my father’s relationship with his brother was always complicated. It felt like my uncle didn’t understand consequences.
“Don’t worry, I know you’re very different from him.” I set my hand on top of hers.
Outside the restaurant, she gives me a long hug, and I smile against her hair. As I head to the TTC, I feel lighter than I did before, but then a faint aroma hits me, becoming stronger as I pass a bakery.
Cinnamon buns.
Not just any cinnamon buns. I swear they’re exactly the sameones I had for breakfast the other day, and suddenly, I can barely get enough air into my lungs.
The first time I stumbled into Leaside Brewing, it was after eating dumplings at that same restaurant with Madison, which is also not far from Cam’s, and I knew the cinnamon buns came from somewhere nearby. Still, the coincidence of that scent is nearly enough to knock me to the ground, and I ache at the memory of our morning together.
Once I put myself back together, I consider running to the brewery, but I don’t. I’ll see him on Sunday, as we planned.
It’s weird being home at 4 p.m. on a Friday. Sometimes, I was home at this hour during the loop, but I’ve quickly acclimated to working again.
I feel better than I did before I left. I’ve patched things up with my sister, and having one person believe me makes me feel more hopeful about telling Cam, though it’s a very different situation. Madison has known me her whole life; Cam, not so much. He has no reason to think I’m the kind of person who’d be incapable of lying about such things.
After starting a load of laundry—might as well get that out of the way—I work on my current crochet project: a scarf. My thoughts turn to what I should say to Cam and where I should suggest we meet on Sunday. Unlike with my sister, I don’t want to do it in public. I’m sure Avery would be happy to make herself scarce for a few hours if I had him over, but I’ll suggest his place when we speak tonight.
I hope we can figure it out, but if he doesn’t believe me, I don’t see how we can be together. I try not to obsess about that now, though, when there’s nothing I can do.
Feeling like I’ve made enough progress in changing my life for one day, I settle down in front of the TV with a snack.Cheese and crackers, even if I ate multiple days’ worth of cheese in the ziti yesterday. Whatever. I’m going to enjoy myself. I’ve realized that’s an important part of life, even if it’s something I neglected for a long time.
However, a text message soon disrupts me.
AVERY: I found the dumpling stand
42Noelle
In her subsequent texts, Avery gives me more details.
