Page 7 of Two Friends in Marriage
“And second of all…I guess we’ll have to kiss.When we get married, if nothing else.”
“Is that a legal requirement?I assume not.”
Rather than replying, Jane starts googling, and a few minutes of research convince us that kissing your spouse is not actually required.
“We can tell the officiant not to say that line,” I say.“No big deal.”Except it might make my family suspicious that something is up.
If they don’t believe I’m in love, will they think Jane is using me in some way?
“We should kiss.”She nods decisively.“I mean, unless it makesyouuncomfortable—”
“No, no,” I assure her, “but we should practice beforehand.To make sure it goes okay.”
“Good thinking.”She sets aside her laptop, cracks her knuckles, and shifts toward me.
I chuckle.“I didn’t meannow.I meant the day before or something.”
“We might as well start now, just in case.It’s been years since I kissed someone, and I could be horribly out of practice.Besides, there could be another occasion when we need to kiss to convince people of our relationship.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“What?”she says.“It happens all the time in dramas.”
“I wasn’t aware you watched such things.”
She shrugs before shifting even closer so that our thighs are touching.She turns her head toward me and rests her forehead against mine.“This is weird.But yes, I’m sure I want to try.”
I tilt my head.As my mouth drops to hers, I have the sudden thought that maybe, this kiss will change everything.Maybe it will show me that I want her as something other than a good friend.Maybe it will make me see her in a whole different light—and vice versa.
Again, the sort of thing that happens in dramas.
But not in real life.Because when her lips meet mine, there’s no magic.No zing.It’s not unpleasant, but it doesn’t make my body flare with passion.I feel strangely distant from it all.
And disappointed, even though I knew this would be a marriage of convenience.
“That wasn’t so bad,” she says.
“Yeah.”I swallow.“Not so bad.”
I excuse myself to use the washroom, and when I return to the couch, Jane is typing.I rest my arm on her shoulders, and she doesn’t flinch at this casual contact.It’s comfortable, yet I feel an ache, a longing for something more.Not with her, in particular, but with someone.
Except I’ve started more than half a dozen relationships, with a variety of people, thinking that this will be the one.This is it; this is what I’ve been waiting for.
I know what it’s like to be immensely fond of someone’s smile or forearms.I know what it’s like to sink into a person’s body and never want to leave, to be set aflutter by a fingertip touching my cheek.
But my relationships never last, for one reason or another.And after so many times of doing the same thing over and over, wouldn’t it be silly to keep looking and expect a different outcome next time?
No, this is sensible.It’s for the best.
There’s just a little part of me that can’t help wonderingwhat if.
Chapter 3
Jane
Inthenextfewweeks, Evan and I find a wedding venue and pay a deposit.We’ll get married at an event space north of the city, where we can have the entire thing outside.The ceremony will be followed by a light lunch under a big white tent.Nothing too fancy.I confirm the date with my father before we make the payment; he says it’s fine.He doesn’t ask many questions.
We also tell our friends from university about our upcoming nuptials, during a small gathering at Lana and Camila’s apartment.I don’t see these people very often, but I enjoy myself when I do, this small group of queer friends that I met in frosh week.At the time, I considered myself an ally, but later, I started thinking…maybe it’s more than that.
