Page 23 of Two Friends in Marriage
“Watson,” I reply.“I found it on a list of suggested names for penguins.I thought it suited him better than ‘Flip’ or ‘Snowball’ or ‘Washington,’ which were some of the other names on the list.”
“Does he have a last name?”
“No.‘Watson’ is a mononym.”
“Well, I hope he enjoys the show.”
She goes outside and turns the mower on.I watch her ass as she moves toward the back of the yard…
Wait a second.Why am I staring at my wife’s ass in those little jean shorts?
I give my head a shake and continue to regard her as she turns around and heads back toward the house.She gives me a little smile, and oh God, that isn’t helping.
Her parting words ring in my ears.
I hope he enjoys the show.
Maybe the smile was just for Watson, but the truth is that I really like watching Jane cut the grass in her shorts and tank top and old sneakers.And when I try to think of something else, I picture her skin glistening with sweat, her throat working as she swallowed the water.
I flee to my office in the basement, which is thankfully cooler and doesn’t afford any views of Jane in the backyard.I plop down on my desk chair.
Why on earth am I feeling a prickle of attraction toward mywife?
This wasn’t supposed to happen.I’ve known her for well over a decade, and it’s never happened before.Could I appreciate that she’s a pretty woman?Sure.But it’s never been quite like this, and Iknowshe doesn’t feel this way about me.
In most cases, being attracted to your spouse is the very opposite of a problem, but this wasn’t part of our deal.Sex is something that I’m supposed to get outside of marriage, with one exception: if we decide to try for a baby, once we’ve been married for a year.
Reminding myself of that isn’t improving the situation.
Desperately, I try to think of another topic, and my mind jumps to my family.Okay, that’s good.That’ll help.But then I remember how my parents encouraged us to go on a honeymoon, which would mean being in a hotel room with Jane…
This really isn’t working.
I rest my elbows on the desk and put my head in my hands.It’s probably just happening because I haven’t had sex in over a year.Also, I haven’t taken care of myself in a while.
Yes, that must be the problem.Apparently, neglecting my own needs is causing unwanted attraction to the woman who’s living with me.My libido isn’t as high as it used to be, but it’s not nonexistent.
I go upstairs to my bedroom and make quick work of it, trying to keep my wife out of my mind while I touch myself.Then I clean up and come back downstairs.Jane is inside now—I guess she’s finished cutting the grass.
“So,” I say, stuffing my hands in my pockets, “what do you want for dinner?”
Tuesday morning, while Jane is in the shower after her workout and I’m waiting for the coffee, I decide that Watson should start the day with a new outfit.I remove his bright scarf and set a cowboy hat on his head.Don’t ask why I have one of those, but I do.
Jane’s schedule is predictable, and when I expect her downstairs in the next minute or two, I pour our coffee and take it outside, setting both mugs on the patio table.She soon emerges and sits next to me.
“Thanks,” she says.
Although it’s not even eight o’clock, it’s already pretty warm.It’s going to be a hot one.
As we have our first coffee, we usually talk about our plans for the day, what we have to do for work.My job is mostly remote, which has its advantages, but I’m one of those people who genuinely liked working in an office.Not at my first job out of school—the guy in the next cubicle was a loud asshole who constantly interrupted me—but in general, I enjoyed it.
Today, however, Jane is quiet.She stares at a bird sitting on the fence.
“It’s my mom’s birthday,” she says at last.“She would have been sixty.”
I reach over and squeeze her hand; she doesn’t look at me.
“I’ve been thinking about her more lately.I always do, when big life events happen—like getting married and buying a house.”Her gaze flits over to me.Then she looks forward again, toward the bird, but I don’t think she’s really paying attention to her surroundings.
