Page 67 of Two Friends in Marriage
ME: What’s your major?
PEYTON: Biology.That’s the plan, anyway.
PEYTON: I’m really sorry I couldn’t come to your wedding.I had the money to fly to Toronto.But I can’t get a credit card because I’m 17, which made it hard to book anything.Mom refused to book the flight for me and said I was too young to travel that far by myself.
How would she have the money?From a summer job?Part-time work?I assume she’s not paying for school, but still.
And why would she have wanted to go to my wedding?Badly enough that she’d use her own money?We’re not close.
I feel a wave of guilt that I didn’t try harder with her.
Except she was a toddler when I started university, and my family moved out west a year later.I’m not close with my father or his second wife.And there were times when Ididtry harder with my half-siblings, but it didn’t get anywhere.
I won’t let the guilt get to me, but since she seems interested in a relationship now, I’ll make an effort going forward.
I remember wanting a little sister when I was younger, and I wonder if my parents would have had another kid if my mom hadn’t gotten sick.But by the time I did get a sibling, I was well into my teens, and it was one more thing that made me pissed off at my father.You have time for a baby, but not for me?
ME: That’s ok.I understand.
PEYTON: Dad should have gone.Then I could have gone with him.Can’t believe he missed your wedding because of a business trip.
PEYTON: But I have a friend at u of t and I’m hoping to get a job out there next summer.Don’t tell mom and dad.Not yet.I’ll visit you then.
A part of me delights in having a secret with a sibling.I’ve never had that before.
We chat for a little longer.
“Hey,” Evan says, startling me.“Dinner will be ready in two minutes.”He takes in my smile and gives me a curious look.
“Just texting Peyton,” I say, as though it’s a regular thing, rather than something I’ve never done before.
A few minutes later, I’m scarfing down fried rice.Evan isn’t an especially good cook, but he’s competent, which is more than can be said of some men, and it’s nice to not have to cook all the time.Nice to chat about the mundane and not-so-mundane details of my day, rather than eating with my phone, like I used to do.I’d usually be in a cranky mood after a phone call with my father, but not today.
“I’m going to visit Max tomorrow,” Evan says.“If you want to come, let me know, but I figured you’d be happy to have some time to yourself.”
I wonder if he’d prefer to see his brother alone but felt he had to offer.I’m happy for him to have a relationship with his family separate from me—it’s not like I feel excluded.
“I’ll stay home,” I tell him.“Maybe I’ll go wild and…I don’t know, bring Watson on a trip to the basement.”
“He won’t like it down there.It’s too dark and gloomy.”
“Butyoudon’t mind it?The deal was that you’d get the bigger bedroom if I got the upstairs office, but I’ve basically taken over your bedroom.”
He gives me a look.“I’m not nearly as sensitive to these things as Watson, don’t worry.Besides, I have feet, so I can move when I like.He’s at the mercy of whoever brings him down there.”
“That’s a good point,” I say, but my mind has drifted elsewhere.
It’s rare for Evan to hang out with anyone without me.Does he find it too awkward, now that we live in the suburbs?We have a car, though.Does he feel guilty about leaving me alone?
“You know,” I say slowly, “if you want to go out more often without me, I don’t mind.Truly.Watson and Mr.Frog will keep me company.And if you don’t want to drive, I can pick you up occasionally.”
Though Evan doesn’t really drink anymore—he did in university, but he doesn’t like the way it makes him feel now—he does get high on occasion.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
Later that night, as I’m lying in bed next to him, I think back to that smile.I didn’t used to be such an expert on Evan’s smiles, but that’s changed.
He wasn’t happy that I said he could go out by himself.But why?Does he feel like I’m trying to get rid of him?
