Page 29 of Two Friends in Marriage
“‘Trying’ is the key word, yes,” I say.
Aside from the wedding, I haven’t worn makeup in a while, but I felt the urge to do so today.I’m not entirely sure why.Maybe because my life has seemed so conservative lately?Marriage, house in the suburbs.Or it has something to do with the rough week I’ve survived.
I sigh.“It’s fine, we can go.”
Jane steps into the bathroom.Her outfit has a striking silhouette.She’s wearing wide-legged pinstripe black pants and an asymmetrical top that exposes her left shoulder, but not her right.She’s always favored black clothes when dressing up.
I know I’ve seen her wear that shirt before, but it’s somehow different today.I want to slide the other sleeve down and bare her right shoulder.I want…
I should not be lusting after my wife.
I move toward the door of the washroom, but she doesn’t step back to allow me to pass.She’s mere inches from me now, and that’s not helping.
“I can do it for you,” she says.
“No, it’s okay.We don’t have time.”I don’t know where we’re going; she just told me when to be ready.
She looks at her watch.“It’s fine.I checked the traffic, and it’s not too bad.If we leave in twenty minutes, we’ll be a couple of minutes late, at most.”
I hesitate.“Okay.”Then I pull out my phone and show her a short video.“This is what I was trying to do.”
The person in the video is white and doesn’t have monolids like I do.Combined with the fact that I haven’t done this a while, I wasn’t happy with my efforts.
Jane nods, then lifts herself onto the counter so she’s taller than I am.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”I ask as she opens up the flame eyeshadow palette.
“Yeah.I know you rarely see me wear eyeshadow”—it looks like she’s wearing eyeliner and mascara right now, nothing more—“but I’m pretty good at it.I didn’t have a mother or older sister to teach me about makeup, so at some point, I made a dedicated effort to teach myself.”She picks up a brush.
“That wasn’t what I, uh, meant,” I say as she starts working on my face.I’ve worn bold makeup in public with Jane before, but I’m very aware of the fact that we now have matching wedding bands.“One of the women I dated—not for long—she didn’t like when I did anything that would mark me as…not necessarily straight.”
Jane frowns.“Then why was she dating a queer guy?I assume she knew.”
“Yeah.”I’d told her that I was bi, though now I usually call myself queer because it feels more comfortable.“I think she liked being able to discuss men—you know, movie stars and stuff—with me.She liked when it felt theoretical?But when, for example, she learned that I’d actually slept with men, it made her uneasy.”
Jane pauses in her work.“Well, that’s fucking bullshit.”
I manage a chuckle.“I know.”
“Nothing—about this, I mean—has changed now that we’re married.”
“I didn’t really think—” I begin.
“No, it’s fine.I get it.”She’s looking very intently at my eyes.Her tongue peaks out from between her red lips.I’m captivated by her closeness, by the sight of her focusing on something.
On me.
Having her do my makeup…it feels very intimate.
She tips up my chin with a single finger, and I yearn to feel her entire hand trailing down my neck.
Get it together, Evan.
Finally, she gives me a brisk nod.“Not bad.Tell me what you think.”She hops down from the counter.“I think you look hot.”
I can’t focus on my reflection because that word is echoing in my head.
Hot.
