Page 21 of Four Weddings to Fall in Love
I haven’t heard that voice too many times, but I recognize it all the same.
“Hi, Kim.”I turn to look at her.With the lights on the patio, I can still make her out pretty well.This is the closest I’ve been to her all day.Her dress only exposes a hint of cleavage, but it’s mesmerizing all the same.
I should not be thinking of such things.However, the truth is that I’ve thought about a lot more than that in the past few weeks.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”Her tone is playful.
My heart starts beating faster.I can’t believe she actually confronted me.
“In fact,” she says, “I even noticed you hiding behind a potted shrub at one point, and you, Max Mok, are a tall man who does not fit behind a potted shrub.”
“I was playing hide and seek with Nolan.”
“I don’t think you were.”
Fair.Nolan is the only person who believed we were playing hide and seek.
I look out at the lavender since it’s too hard to look at her.“Yes, I was avoiding you.I’m conscious of the fact that the last time we saw each other, my performance left something to be desired.”
“Which is why you made your escape just after midnight.”
“You were awake when I left?”
“I was.”
This is just getting worse and worse, and I didn’t think that was possible.It really is a miracle that I haven’t combusted from shame.
“I’m sorry—”
“No,” she says, “it’s probably for the best that you didn’t stay.”
I’m not sure I can take much more of this.
“Does anyone know about us?”she asks.
“My brothers figured it out.Don’t worry, they won’t gossip.”
“Tell me about your brothers.You’re Mirabel’s cousins, so I’m told.”
I nod.“I’m the oldest.Then Evan, the accountant.Leo, with the shaved head and tattoos, is the artistic one.Jon, the youngest, is a lawyer.He’s the most annoying.”
She chuckles.“Jon…he was flirting with the white lady in the blue dress?”
“Mm-hmm.He likes to sleep around.”I pause.“No judgment.I—”
“Yes, yes, that does describe me.It’s fine.Though people treat women who do that differently from men.”
“I know.It’s not fair.”
We’re silent for a moment.There’s a light breeze, which is refreshing.I’ve started sweating since Kim joined me.
I’m very aware of her proximity.Her hair is down, unlike at the last wedding, and she’s wearing a simple gold necklace.
I wished I hadn’t messed things up with her.I do like her.I like that she was bold and took the lead last time.I like that she sought me out tonight, even if it makes me squirm.
Then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter.She wants different things from me—as evidenced by the fact that she tried her best not to catch Tessa’s bouquet.Sure, she was smiling as she looked at the collage, but I shouldn’t read into it.She might see a relationship as something that’s good for other people, just not for her.
“I need you to know,” I say, “that I can do much better than I did last time.”Even though I don’t have a chance with her, I can’t have her thinking that was my best.“I just…I’m really not good with one-night stands.That was my first—”
