Because I want, more than anything, to be with Julian, and I’m feeling a bit delusional at the moment. I feel like believing when I shouldn’t believe.
 
 He’s become an important part of my life; he means so much to me now. Being without him is too painful to contemplate. I don’t have a choice.
 
 I might be on a sinking ship, but there’s nowhere else for me to go.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter 24
 
 Julian
 
 Iwalk into work niceand early on Monday morning. Fortunately, the lock on my office door hasn’t been changed, as Po Po threatened to do, and I’m at my desk by seven.
 
 It feels good to be back. I’m itching to get some work done and make sure everything hasn’t gone to shit in my absence. I don’t think it has, but doubtless there will be fires to put out.
 
 However, I’ve only answered one email when Vince swaggers into my office.
 
 “Just checking that you made it back to the office after your holiday,” he says.
 
 “I’m here and I’m working. Or, rather, I would be working if you hadn’t interrupted.”
 
 “That’s what I do best.”
 
 “It is, though I’m surprised you’re awake at seven fifteen in the morning.”
 
 He shrugs. “Haven’t gone to bed yet.”
 
 I look at my brother, really look at him for once. His clothes are loose, and there are dark circles under his eyes, and his cocky smile is a little strained.
 
 I get up from my desk and walk over to him. “Are you okay?”
 
 “Why wouldn’t I be okay? I’ve been up all night doing hookers and drugs. I just need a few hours of sleep, that’s all.”
 
 There are some brown stains at the bottom of his T-shirt. I won’t ask.
 
 But I’ll ask about something else.
 
 “Do you have a drug problem? Should I be concerned?”