Page 62 of If You Give a Grump a Christmas Tree Farm
We sit quietly for a few minutes, both happy in the moment.
Rebecca stares at the corner next to the fireplace. “We need to put up a tree in here.”
“We do. Pick one out tomorrow and I’ll put it up for you.”
“You know, when I was younger and fresh out of school, I had such plans. There were a million places I wanted to visit, like Paris and London and Venice. Anyway, I wanted to bring back a Christmas ornament from each place I visited.”
“Did you ever go to any of those places?” I ask.
“Nope. Not one.”
“Why not?”
“I met David. We got married, and he was never interested in travel.”
“So, because he didn’t want to, you didn’t get your dream. That’s bullshit. You deserve to go to all those places, and you should.”
“Maybe someday.” She sips her wine.
“I guess we need some ornaments for this tree. We could pick some up next time we’re in town.”
“That would be fun. But when would we find the time? We’ve got to cover our business hours.”
“We’ll figure it out. I promise,” I say.
She sets her glass down and rests her head on my shoulder, scooting closer and covering me with half her blanket.
We watch the fire in silence, and it's nice… comfortable. I haven’t felt this comfortable with a woman in my entire life.
“JJ?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want kids?”
“Sure. I suppose.”
“Have you ever been in a serious relationship? One where you wanted to start a family?”
It’s a big question and a heavy topic, but with this woman I find I’m not afraid to talk about it.
“There was a girl. It was a long time ago. I’d been seeing her, then we broke up. Months later, she came to the clubhouse claiming she was pregnant with my baby.”
“Oh.”
“I wasn’t ready for anything like that at the time. My first reaction was to run, to avoid her. I later found out she’d been seeing this other guy. He demanded a paternity test, and the baby turned out to be his. Back then, my only thought was that I’d dodged a bullet. Now, with a lot of my brothers settled with ol’ ladies and kids of their own, I’ve thought about what I missed out on.”
“She was the only one? You never found anyone you wanted to have kids with?”
“Nope. I’d always thought I was lucky that way.”
“And now?”
“Now I think I’ve wasted a lot of years chasing things that weren’t important. Now I feel like maybe I missed my chance.”
“You never know what life holds. I thought my life was all settled. I was married. I thought I was on track for my happily-ever-after.” She shrugs against me. “Life doesn’t always turn out the way you think, does it?”
“Guess not.”
