Page 53 of If You Give a Grump a Christmas Tree Farm
“They’re beautiful.”
Together we get the rest set up and admire the lot.
“It looks good, JJ.”
“It does,” he agrees.
I put a hand on his arm. “I want to show you something.”
He follows me to the shed. “Hey, the dogs look great.”
“They do, don’t they? But this is what I wanted to show you.” I gesture to the display of elves. “Miles dropped off these adorable ornaments. Check them out.”
“How about that? They are cute, aren’t they?”
“Miles came up with the idea of naming them Holly and Jolly. Isn’t that clever?” I pick up one, and its string catches on the spindle, and it slips from my hand, crashing to the floor and breaking in pieces. “Oh, no!” Tears sting my eyes, and I squat, gathering the pieces. “I’m such an idiot.”
JJ tugs me to my feet. “Hey, don’t say that. It’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“I should have been more careful. It’s ruined. I’m so sorry.”
“Babe, it’s okay. Things break. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is. I’ve only got so many.” If I’d broken something in front of David, he’d berate me as being a stupid, clumsy moron. Even on the occasions when he dropped or broke something, he always turned it around to be my fault. Once he’d knocked a figurine his mother had given us off a side table, but of course it was my fault for putting it in such a stupid place.
JJ’s chin pulls to the side, and he studies me, and I wonder if he knows what I’m thinking. “If I had broken it, would you have called me an idiot?”
“Of course not.” I know what he’s doing. My brain tells me he’s right, but it’s a hard habit to break, blaming myself for everything that happens.
“Then don’t put yourself down like that.”
I nod. JJ is so different from David, and the way JJ and I are with each other is so far from how David and I interacted.
JJ handles my mistake with humor and grace, and it triggers the sudden, overwhelming certainty that this relationship radically differs from my marriage.
When I first met JJ, when I first saw him standing in his leather cut near the fire in the attorney’s office, I was sure he’d be worse than David ever was. And at first JJ’s grumpy behavior reinforced that belief, but the more time I spend with him, the more I’ve come to realize he’s nothing like David in the best way possible.
I feel safe with JJ. I know he’d never do anything to hurt me. He cares about what I think, about my ideas, my hopes, and my dreams in a way David never really exhibited.
I can’t help the comparison, and maybe it’s not fair, but maybe it is.
Maybe my eyes are really opening for the first time about how I deserve to be treated.
“JJ?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re my partner in this.”
My words bring the sweetest smile to his face, and my heart melts a little more.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JJ—
“Come with me, Becca.” I take the broken ornament pieces from her hand, put my arm around her shoulders, and lead her up the porch steps and into the cabin.
I sit her on the couch. “I’ll be right back.”
