Page 94 of The Official Problem
The words hit like a slap, but it wasn’t the anger that gutted him; it was the hurt beneath it. Kieran opened his mouth, then closed it, scrambling for anything that wouldn’t make this worse.
“That’s all I thought about, Matthieu,” he said finally, stepping forward with his hands open like he was offering the last pieces of himself. “All I wanted was for you to be okay.”
“I am okay.” Matthieu’s voice cracked, but didn’t falter. “Life’s been hard, Kieran. That doesn’t mean I’m broken. It doesn’t mean you have to fix a damn thing about me. We’re not all multimillionaires who can throw money at a problem and move on, but that doesn’t mean we’re helpless.”
Kieran flinched. That wasn’t how he saw it. But from where Matthieu stood, maybe it looked exactly like that. Like he didn’t believe Matthieu could handle things on his own. Like he pitied him. It wasn’t true, but how the hell could he explain that without sounding exactly like the privileged asshole Matthieu saw him as right now?
“I was trying to help. I only wanted to make you happy.”
“You did make me happy, Kieran.”
Did.The word echoed, sharp and final.
“Having you in my life again brought me more happiness than I ever thought I could have.” He wasn’t yelling anymore.Somehow, that was worse. “For the first time in my life, the voices in my head were quiet. That constant rage boiling under my skin finally cooled. Being in your arms made everything manageable for the first time since I came back here.”
He paused, swallowing hard. He looked like he was barely holding himself together, and Kieran hated himself for being the reason he was slipping again.
“And just like last time, you’ve thrown it all away.”
“No,” Kieran breathed, the word torn from him. “You don’t mean that.”
Matthieu didn’t answer. Didn’t even look at him.
Panic bloomed in his chest. “Matthieu, we can fix this. Please—give me a chance.”
“How the hell do you think you can do that?” Matthieu’s eyes finally met his, and Kieran wished they hadn’t. They were full of betrayal, and worse, disappointment. “You know how this looks. It doesn’t matter what you tell the league or the press; it changes nothing. For the first time in my life, I had everything I ever wanted. A job I spent ten hard years working for.” He pulled in a deep, shuddering breath. “I had you.”
Matthieu was right. He’d just imploded his career. There was no spinning this, no salvaging it. It didn’t matter what Kieran’s intentions had been; when you stripped it down to the facts, it was clear as day.
Kieran had given an official three hundred thousand dollars. An official who’d worked a pivotal game for his team. An official who, despite knowing nothing about the money, had made a call that guaranteed the Inferno their playoff run. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t a bribe. It didn’t matter that it came from love. All anyone would see was collusion.
And Matthieu? He’d be destroyed. Their relationship alone could be used to claim Matthieu was biased in his calls on theice. The fact they’d been seeing each other all season would call into question every call Matthieu had ever made.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. The words weren’t enough. He knew that. “Please let me try.”
There was no plan. No fix. But he’d find one. He’d hire the best PR team in the city. Beg, plead, throw himself on the mercy of the league, whatever it took. Because the thought of losing Matthieu again? It was too much.
This time, it wouldn’t be because he was too afraid to fight.
This time, if he lost him, he would be screaming.
A soft knock broke the silence. Kieran cursed Cole’s timing. Matthieu had almost looked like he might saytry. Then his lips pressed together, and he turned away.
Cole peeked in. “Sorry to interrupt, I know this is… a lot. The GM wants to see you within the hour. Press conference is set for two.”
Kieran barely turned. “Okay,” he muttered, then looked back at Matthieu.
“Matty, will you stay until I get back? Please don’t run again. Let me try to make some of this right. Just give us a chance.”
Matthieu didn’t move. Didn’t speak. The silence crept in again, heavy and suffocating.
“Let me try,” he said again, hoarse from pleading. “Wait here for me.”
Still nothing.
The minutes that followed felt eternal, yet still, they slipped through Kieran's fingers like sand. No words. No promise. No hope. All he wanted was something to hold on to. The next few hours would be hard, but not as hard as returning home and finding Matthieu gone. Again. For good.
Kieran exhaled, surrendering to the finality of it. He’d known this was coming the moment he made his decision. He’dexpected Matthieu’s anger, admittedly for a different reason, but he knew it would come either way.
