Page 77 of The Official Problem
Kieran’s grip tightened in his hair. “You’re not seriously asking about hockey right now?” he said, breathless with a laugh.
“I just wanted to know if you were sore,” Matthieu said, drawing back to study his face. He needed to see him clearly before speaking his next words.
“I’m never too sore to be taken apart by you.”
“I thought maybe tonight you’d want to do the fucking.”
Kieran’s jaw dropped. His pupils blew wide. “Really?” he whispered, like he expected Matthieu to laugh it off.
“Mhmm.”
“We never… have you ever?”
“No,” Matthieu admitted, sliding his hands around to grab Kieran’s ass in a punishing grip. “I think it’s time I know what I’ve been missing. Don’t you?”
“We don’t have to. We never have to. I…”
“Kieran, I want you to fuck me.”
That cut Kieran off. He trembled in Matthieu’s grip, shaken by the rawness of that confession. Kieran had only ever asked to fuck Matthieu once—ten years ago, back when they first got together. Matthieu had flat-out said no. He’d never been particularly interested. The idea of giving his body up like that made him feel exposed, vulnerable.
It wasn’t about trust; he trusted Kieran with everything. It wasn’t even nerves. He’d always known that if he gave himself up that way, it would be to his forever person—the last thing he had left to give after already giving away every other part of himself.
“Well, if you’re sure.”
Kieran no longer sounded reserved. His usual cocky tone laced every word. That smirk, once enough to make Matthieu see red, but now only made him burn, spread across his face.
“We aren’t doing it here.” He tugged Matthieu to his feet, pressing his fully clothed body against every inch of Kieran’s flushed skin. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”
“You going to romance me, sweetheart?” The taunt was meant to mask the sudden vulnerability creeping in, yet something told him Kieran saw right through it.
“You bet I am.”
Getting up the stairs to Kieran’s room took a while. Kieran turned, and one look at that sinful hockey butt had Matthieu needing to kiss him again. They crashed up the stairs, trading control, pressing each other against the wall until they nearly fell onto the landing. Matthieu was so turned on he almost begged Kieran to take him right there in the hallway—the same hallway he’d fucked Kieran in months ago, back when this was still just sex. The only thing stopping him was the lack of supplies, and he’d need plenty the first time they did this.
“Do you want to shower first?” Kieran asked once they finally reached the bedroom. He’d stripped most of Matthieu’s clothes as they wrestled up the stairs, leaving only his briefs. “Or was this…”
“No, I didn’t plan this,” Matthieu said, already knowing exactly what Kieran meant. If he’d come over tonight intending to be fucked, Kieran would’ve found him an anxious puddle on the couch.
“Then go shower.”
Matthieu nodded.
“But Matty,” Kieran looked at him with so much love and affection it made something itch beneath his skin. “If you change your mind, that’s okay. I don’t need that from you. You know that, right?”
“I do.”
Matthieu didn’t waste time in the shower. He soaped up, paid careful attention to certain areas, and let the scalding water rinse him clean. By the time he returned to Kieran’s room, the man had produced candles from somewhere and was busy lighting them.
“Jesus, sweetheart.” Matthieu cut himself off before the scathing words slipped out and forced something softer. “You weren’t lying when you said you wanted romance.”
Kieran grinned and stalked over to pull him into another kiss. Matthieu kissed him back, slower this time, letting himself be kissed, letting himself be held. It was new, letting someone else set the pace, even for a moment. It made his skin tingle and his heart race. Kieran’s hands were careful, reverent, like he knew exactly how much to give and how much to hold back. It was as if he were waiting for Matthieu to let him fully take over.
“Don’t handle me like glass,” Matthieu murmured against his mouth.
“I wouldn’t dare,” Kieran said with a grin, though heat burned behind it. “You have to tell me if you don’t like something. You hear me? We can stop anytime.”
Matthieu nodded once.
