Page 32 of Scoop Me Up
I snorted a laugh and sipped my whiskey. “Definitely not. I told you, I haven’t even been out for drinks in the past year. Definitely no dates.”
“Can I ask…” they started, but hesitated.
“About what happened?”
Sam shrugged and waved their hand as if waving away the conversation. “It’s none of my business. You don’t have to tell me anything.”
“No, it’s fine. Nothing really happened. I guess that was the problem. We thought it was going to be forever, especially once Ellie came along, but… we just… grew apart. The fact that I worked nearly constantly didn’t help.” I took another large swallow of my drink and exhaled sharply. “One day we looked at each other and pretty much said it at the same time.”
“How have you been since then?”
Another sip of whiskey. “Fine. I’m fine. Even more boring than I was before, really. I want to get out of freelance consulting for a while. I work so damn much, I don’t have time for a life outside of work. I had to pass on several freelance jobs just to come out here for the summer and spend time with Ellie.”
“If you weren’t consulting, what would you do?”
Thoughts of the job offer pounded through my head in time with my accelerated heartbeat. “I don’t know,” I deflected. I could barely think about anything but Sam’s mouth. “Like I’ve said before, I’ve always wanted to invest. Watch a business grow from the ground up. That’s kind of like consulting, but more personal. More… invested.”
Sam chuckled. “That’s sort of in the name, isn’t it?”
“You’ve got me there.” We were quiet for a moment, just watching one another, before Sam took a breath.
“Your glass is empty again.”
They were right. It was. My mind was pleasantly fuzzy and my limbs were loose and warm. I knew it was probably time to wrap things up and head home, but I couldn’t help wanting to be near them still. “One more drink?”
Sam nodded and finished their glass before standing. “Be right back.”
While they were gone to the bar to get refills, I stood up and made my way to the restroom. My head spun a little.Good grief, you really are a lightweight, I thought, as I walked down the hallway. There were two female-presenting people standing in line for the bathrooms and I took my place in line behind them.
One of the ladies looked at the other. “Sam lookssogood tonight, don’t they?”
At first, I wasn’t sure I’d heard correctly. I pulled out my phone to look busy enough to eavesdrop while they talked.
The second one nodded and fanned herself. “Whatisit about the teacher thing that does it for me?”
Okay, I’d definitely heard correctly.
The first laughed and elbowed her friend. “You’re not the only one. I’d let them… Oh, my turn.” One of the bathroom doors swung open and the woman exhaled in relief. “Be right back.”
At that moment, I felt a tickle in the back of my throat. Unable to suppress it, I coughed, catching the attention of the remaining woman.
The other woman turned to me. “Oops. I didn’t see you standing there. You’re new here, right? Ellie’s dad?”
I looked up from my phone, eyebrows raised in an attempt to look innocent. “Me? Oh, yeah. Ellie’s dad.”
“Are you here with Sam?”
My heart stuttered to a stop. “Sam?” I repeated.
“Yeah, you know. I noticed you two over there. Are you a thing?”
Heat flooded my face and neck, burning even my ears. “No, we’re not a thing.”I’m straight, I wanted to protest, but at this point, it felt disingenuous to say out loud, even though I’d only ever been with cisgender women.
She shrugged. “Too bad. You should be. Sam’s a good one, and by the way you were looking at them—” The other bathroomdoor opened then. “Have a good evening,” she said as she disappeared inside.
My stomach churned. Could she tell how I was feeling? HowwasI feeling, anyway? Was I attracted to the objectively hot nonbinary elementary school teacher who dreamed of owning an ice cream shop?Wow. Even in my thoughts, I can’t hide.Yes. Yes I was. And just because my feelings for someone other than a cis woman were new didn’t mean they should freak me out, right? Of course not.
After I did my business, I made my way back to the table carefully, feeling just a little unsteady on my feet. Just enough unsteady that Iknewhaving a third drink was probably ill-advised. The realization that I wasn’t as straight as I’d always thought was crashing down on me like a ton of bricks, though. My heart pounded in my chest and I couldn’t take a full breath. I sat heavily down into our booth. I didn’t know what to do next.
