Page 95 of Unruly Obsession
A heavy weight settles in my chest. This whole time, I’ve been protecting myself, as I felt like everyone I loved was betraying me. And Lorenzodidbetray me. I let too many people do that—even my family. The difference, however, is that Lorenzo never walked out on me. And he’d always done what he thought was best for my protection. Something shifts within me, causingconfusing feelings to bubble up. I can’t make an exception for him. I mean, he literally killed my father.
A father you don’t miss.
I try to cling to that thought. Because what kind of person does that make me if I stand by him after all he’s done?
Or maybe I’m using this as an excuse because I haven’t fully accepted the fact that I’ve fallen in love with a killer. And I can’t move forward without either fully embracing that part of him or denying it.
“The earrings are beautiful, by the way,” Ara comments, bringing me back to the room.
“When did you look at them?” I ask, shocked by the open box on the counter.
The jingle of the bell chimes as she opens the door, but right before she leaves, I call out for her. She pauses, watching me expectantly. “How do you forgive the man who killed your father?”
She offers a small smile. “I’m the wrong person to ask. I put a bullet through the man’s brains who murdered my mother, remember?” she replies, and a shudder runs through me, goose bumps rising on my flesh.
Much like Lorenzo, this is a part of who Ara is. But I so easily accept it about her. I’m shocked but also immediately accepting as she opens up this cold and cruel tendril of her past.
“I loved my mother. And the man I love was willing to give me her killer's head on a silver platter. At his own expense, he showed me he was fighting in my corner. Lorenzo is dangerous, Lily, but he would go to great lengths to set the world on fire for you, if you only asked him.”
She’s quiet for a moment, then continues, “Had I known about your father and his… vices, I would’ve killed him myself.” It feels strange that others now know his true nature, yet unlike before, I have no urge to defend him. She casually shrugs.“That’s how I love. Only you can decide if you feel like it’s right or wrong.”
My jaw tightens as I'm once again in awe of her. I don’t condone violence, but she lives fiercely and passionately. She knows who she is, unapologetically. So why can I embrace this part of her but not the same in Lorenzo?
His hurt is different.
Because I love him.
I internally sigh with the bombardment of the very narrative I’ve been trying to run away from.
I might not be as ruthless as Ara, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be a part of their world.
After all, my choices and life are of my own making, and when I think about where I want to be or who I want to be with… my heart screams only one name.
It’s fucked-up.
Maybe the craziest choice I’ve ever made.
There’s no guarantee it was ever requited. Maybe his gifts and lingering presence are only part of a twisted game.
But in my heart, I doubt that.
It’s time I stopped blaming Lorenzo for ignoring my wishes and thanked him for listening to the small part of me that was crying for help.
I swallow hard, acknowledging that major difference.
Instead of defending the dead man who only ever wanted to keep me caged and hurt me, I should thank the man who did everything he could to free and protect me.
Whether he’ll accept me or not.
41
LORENZO
Lily has become my obsession, and I’m checking my phone every few minutes, updating myself on her location. Since the moment I realized she was on her way here, I’ve been standing at the end of the driveway, waiting for her.
I just finished bagging the twenty million to hand over to Nicholas Wayne, who accepted the invitation personally to receive it. I had the intention to stop by her shop to check on her from a distance, but it appears she’s made my work easier for me.
She pulls into the driveway in the Mustang she’s recently taken a liking to. It’s so opposite to the pink floral dress she wears, but it suits her. The moment she steps out of the car, relief washes through me. There’s always a heavy feeling in my gut when she’s not within reach. I trust the hound to keep her safe, but I also believe no one is better at the task than myself.
