Page 91 of Unruly Obsession
My eyes flutter, a fresh, cool breeze forcing me to snuggle deeper under my blankets. It took me what felt like hours to fall asleep last night, as I stared at the ceiling, processing everything I learned. I can’t even cry anymore. I’m just so tired of people lying and betraying me. It’s left a bitter numbness in its wake.
It was definitely the nudge I needed to finally take my life into my own hands, regardless of what happens to others. I love my family, but it doesn’t mean I’m only here to serve them.
My feet hit the floor, and I grab my phone, opening the most recent text message from Sienna.
Romi still isn’t herself, but apparently she’s functioning. And so will I today. I’ll go to the flower shop for the first time since my father died. I expect it to be a mess. The fresh flowers I had on display have most likely wilted and need to be thrown out, but I want to put a bouquet together for Romi.
I walk to the window to close it, and find a single lily carefully placed there. I pick it up, rolling it around in my fingers, wondering how it got there. I don’t have to question it too much because IknowLorenzo was the one who left it there.
There’s been a bittersweet exhaustion through all of this that, despite everything, he’s still all around me. I don’t know if that’s because the hatred got sucked out of me or that I know he’s still the one person I can depend on to help get me out of this situation that never had anything to do with him from the beginning.
A low, muffled sound comes from my mother’s room down the hall. Panic rocks me. What if someone’s come for her? What if I’m no longer the target?
I run to her room, collecting a vase from the hall table between our bedroom doors as the only weapon I can find, and fling open her door, raising the vase above my head, my heart racing.
My mother screams, then I scream as I see naked flesh. “Oh, eww. Eww.” Two bodies are tangled in the sheets, and I look away, disgusted. “Eww, no. Yuck.”
“Lily!” my mother shouts as I slam the door behind me and slowly step away. What the fuck did I just walk in on? I carefully place the vase down, even though the water and flowers remain to be picked up, and then descend the stairs, as if trying to run away from the visual.
I take each step in disbelief, recalling what I just saw.
Mom and Bentley?
“What the fuck?” I say, blinking and shaking my head.
“Lily!” my mother calls over the railing, looking down on me. Bentley is only wearing boxers as he comes to stand behind her.
“Nope.” I put my hand up. “I’ve had my fill of everyone’s secrets. I’m done.” I throw my hands in the air. “I’m done,” I say again, like a crazy person.
I walk to the kitchen and grab my favorite iced tea before pouring it into a tumbler.
My mother calls for me again, but I ignore her, making my way out the back door and into the gardens, losing myselfamongst the flowers she worked so hard to maintain all of these years, despite my father threatening to burn them down.
“Lily?” my mother says cautiously from behind me. I turn in the direction of the sun, surprised that all I feel is a little grossed out at catching my mother having sex. I’m not even mad. I don’t blame her. My father was a horrible man. But that’s something no child wants to see.
“This whole week you’ve kept to yourself and barely spoken after Dad’s funeral, but you’ve made time to…” I can’t even finish the sentence.
She looks ashamed, and I hate that I’ve made her feel that way.
“I’m the worst mother. I'm sorry you found out the way you did, and right after your father?—”
“I don’t give a shit about Father,” I finally say out loud, and it startles her.
“Don’t say that,” she says quietly, but it lacks any real forcefulness, and I realize with startling clarity that she was even more conditioned than I to come to his defense. I couldn’t even comprehend how jarring my father's death might’ve been for her. I thought her silence might’ve been due to her mourning the man she loved, but perhaps it was shock from the freedom she’s now been bestowed. Sometimes, it’s too scary to believe the cage door is open.
“I just needed time to myself to process. I’ve always told you and your brother not to worry about me,” she says. And it’s exactly because of that that I always had.
“Has this just started with Bentley or…?” Her expression is enough of an answer. Right, so it was an affair. “Did Dad know?”
She rolls her eyes. “As if your father paid enough attention to me to even care.”
I place my hands on my hips. “Yep, then we’re still talking about the same man.”
“Let’s sit down and talk, shall we?” she says, looking at me as if I might run away at any moment. I sigh, taking a seat beside her, because in truth, I want to have a conversation with her as well. I just wasn’t expecting to have it in such an unorthodox way.
My mother stares at me, and the heaviness of all the things unsaid for so many years begins to settle into place. It's always acted as a barrier between us, except I’m not scared of it anymore.
“I hated him,” I confess. “I never understood why you stayed.”
