Page 73 of Unruly Obsession
“He’s been like this for as long as I can remember,” she quietly admits, lowering the bag of peas and staring down at it. I’m quick to take the bag from her and gently hold it to her face, and she hisses at its cool touch. I fucking hate the fact that I wasn’t there to prevent this. She should never have worn his mark like this. I’d take a million hits to ensure she never had to endure this one, or all the ones before it.
“I’m sorry, love,” I say, the pain striking me as deeply as if I had laid a hand on her myself.
“Lorenzo, you have nothing to apologize for. But please, promise me you won’t come into contact with my father again?” she asks gently. It’s not fair how she uses her soft tone against me. Who am I to deny her, when I've already tried for so long?
“Sorry, love, but I don’t operate that way. I protect those I love.”
It takes me a moment to realize what I’ve just said. This is what I’ve been fighting from the moment I first laid eyes on Lily.
Her mouth opens and then closes.
“I don’t expect you to say it back,” I say flatly, almost willing her not to. I can only be so selfish. Now that I know it myself,it makes everything painfully clear, and I hate knowing that I’ll betray her in the next breath. I want to kiss her, make love to her, mark her as mine all over again. I don’t have that right, however, not with what I’m about to do. “What happened?”
Mixed emotions seem to roll through her, then she breaks into a small smile that shatters me into a million pieces. Seeing the real Lily beneath—vulnerable and exposed—I can see how much she’s been keeping it together. It’s a privilege that she’s showing me the ugliest version of herself, and it’s something I’ll never take for granted.
“He wasn’t happy about us or how the date went with Riley. I don’t think he was told about the fork in the hand, but he knows there is no going forward for us. He told me I was selfish and had no idea what kind of trouble we were in.” Her brow wrinkles in confusion. “I don’t know what kind of trouble he meant, but to be honest, I don’t care anymore. I stayed for so long, scared of what would happen to my mother if I left. I’ve begged her so many times to leave him, but my mother…” She trails off, and I understand what goes unsaid, so I bring it to life for her.
“She chooses to stay in the monster's home.”
Lily’s blue eyes slice to mine. Understanding connects us. We’ve both lived under a roof with a violent parent controlled by his bottle of poison. I brush her hair from her shoulder. “You might think you’re a coward, Lily Taylor, but you’re not. I was trained to be a killer, and even I didn’t have the balls to kill my own father until I was ready to face the consequences.”
Lily gasps. “You killed your own father?”
“Yes, and I’d do it again. For my brother. For me.For you.”
“I don’t want you to kill my father. Please, Lorenzo.”
I offer a small apologetic smile. “I can’t make that promise.” I feel the distance grow between us. “The only one I can make to you is that if any person intends to harm you, then I will disposeof them. I will not live in a world where I can’t protect you. Whether you hate me for it or not.”
“Lorenzo, please.” Her voice cracks, and tears spill over her cheeks. She cups my cheek almost pleadingly.
I’m tempted to tell her the truth—that she’s been the target all along—but it remains as a lump in my throat. Making her hate him even more doesn’t help the situation, and if anything, I fear it’ll only hurt her more.
Either way, I’ll ensure she remains protected.
I do everything I can to refrain from touching her, from claiming her in the way I want to, and taking away all of her worries.
I love Lily without a doubt, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m poison to her life. I’ve known this fact about myself from the day I let my sister die. I have nothing good to offer her, except for executing one of the demons that haunt her—knowing she’ll hate me for it.
When she doesn’t get the answer and promise she wants, she folds further into herself.
“I keep wondering if my father ever really cared for me at all,” she says in bewilderment, and a new wave of hurt twists her expression.
“All I know is a man who loves his vices too much can rarely make room for others in his heart,” I say as I bundle her up in my arms. “I will always keep you safe.” I kiss her temple, embracing the lingering smell of her floral perfume one last time before I put her to bed and watch her fall asleep. Then, I'll become the monster of the night she tried so hard to make me promise I wouldn’t be.
31
LORENZO
It’s three in the morning, and she’s finally asleep. Watching her from the edge of the bed, I stroke her hair, like I’ve done for the last hour, to try to soothe her. She’s exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes. I wish her innocence wasn’t just a front, but she’s been fighting battles no child should have to endure, and I’m proud of her for finally taking a stand last night.
The rest I’ll take care of.
I peel myself away from her side of the bed; each step becomes heavier, as I know without a doubt my next action will destroy anything we’ve built.
Sky stares at me through his mask from his spot on the sofa, where only hours ago I cradled Lily in my lap.
“Didn’t take you as the kind to sing lullabies,” he says by way of greeting, forever the fucking smartass. He pisses me off, but he’s my favorite of the hounds because he reminds me of my brother. A twisted comfort, indeed.
