Page 93 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
“Please,” she whispered, as she turned away. “Please. Can we not right now?”
She met his eyes in the mirror, and as the hollowness of her gaze registered in his, he nodded. She felt his fingers, warm and gentle as he zipped her up. His arms went around her waist, and she had no energy to decide if it was a good idea or a bad one.
“Lean on me,” he said.
“What?”
“Lean on me. Now, tonight. Let me help you.” He pulled her closer, his arms tightening around her. “Let me keep you safe.”
The weight of what she felt sunk into her slowly as she relaxed into his chest. He wasn’t asking her to talk, to tell him anything. He wasn’t asking herforanything. He was asking to be there for her, and for the life of her, she couldn’t find anything wrong with accepting that offer. All her reasons for staying apart shattered as she let him hold her. Her shadows danced with joy as her resolve to do things on her own weakened, as though her magic came alive at the thought of letting him help her.
Strange, she thought to herself as she melted into Finn’s embrace. He stood so still behind her, not tense, but almost afraid to disturb her as she relaxed into him.I do actually feel better.
They could do what they needed to do tonight. Pretend, if that’s what they needed to do, and tomorrow... Tomorrow she could let him help her. They could call the Quinns together, ask what it would take to unlock that memory and free her, find out what that remnant of emotion was and solve it. She knew Finn would help her and she was tired of trying to do things on her own. When she’d decided, it had seemed like the best plan, but now she knew she needed help, and he was offering it. Tonight, they could get through the finale of the season, and tomorrow they could have the future back.
“Okay,” she said, sliding one of her hands into his and then the other, turning in his arms to face him. “I’ll lean on you.” She didn’t qualify it with a timeframe. She meant what she said. She would lean on him. Whatever came next, they’d do it together.
His eyes lit with an unspeakable joy. “Let me go grab my jacket and then we can go.”
She nodded, and sank back into her chair, depleted. Harlow didn't know how they’d get through the next few hours, but she was determined to get tonight over with, because tomorrow her future could finally begin.
ChapterThirty-Five
The Solstice Gala was held each year at Nuva Troi’s massive botanical gardens. Tonight, the Jardin was lit with thousands of tiny witchlights, giving the hundreds of topiaries and enormous mosaiculture figures scattered throughout the grounds an even more surreal quality than usual. Everywhere Harlow looked, flowers had burst into bloom, filling the air with a heady natural perfume. Beds of irises created a wash of blue as they entered the enormous, elegant conservatory. Finn’s hand stayed firm against her back as they moved through the crowd.
The rest of her family would arrive separately. They’d agreed that since the big distraction of the evening would be Finn’s proposal, that it would be better not to socialize together. That way the others would more easily observe the crowd’s reaction to Harlow’s acceptance—the McKays and Velariuses, of course, being of particular interest.
“Lo, you lookstunning.”
Harlow turned to find Kate Spencer looking fairly stunning herself, in a white pantsuit covered in thousands of sparkling sequins. Her slender, athletic body was accentuated by the cape that fell from her muscular shoulders to the floor.
Finn grinned and the two of them hugged. “It’s great to see you, Kate. Why haven’t we gotten out on the water?”
Kate ran her eyes over Harlow. “I heard you’ve been busy.”
Finn’s arm was relaxed around her as she watched them interact. They seemed to genuinely be friends. Something warmed in her chest at the thought. That meant that if she and Finn were together, she and Kate could have a friendship of their own. Nothing like that had been possible with Mark. He’d been even more jealous when he understood that her attraction wasn’t limited in the slightest by gender. Everyone had become a suspect after that. She lost track of what Finn and Kate were saying as she watched the crowd swirl around them.
The conservatory was warmer than she’d like—too many people, too much movement. The now-familiar feeling of being watched crept over her skin, causing goosebumps to raise on her arm, despite the heat. Next to her, Finn tensed, as though he too sensed something amiss. Finn’s eyes slid to her bare arm, and the pressure of his hand on her waist increased.
Kate’s eyes followed his and her voice was low when she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know yet,” Finn murmured. “Dance together while I get some drinks?”
Harlow nodded, wondering at how easily he trusted Kate. How quickly they’d fallen into an attitude of camaraderie. How had they achieved that? Kate’s arms slipped around her waist and they joined the dancers at the center of the room.
“What’s going on with you and Finn?” Harlow asked, keeping her face pleasant and her voice low.
Kate raised her eyebrows. “Jealous?”
A little laugh bubbled out of Harlow’s chest. “Nope. I’m glad of it.”
Kate’s gaze softened. “Me too.”
The energy in the room was shifting. Harlow felt a ripple of anxiety wash over her, and then aggression. She found herself wondering if Kate might be lying to her, if she and Finn were keeping secrets from her. Maybe they’d had a relationship in Nea Sterlis, when Finn was at Aphelion. As they turned on the dance floor, her suspicion grew. Her cheeks flushed. Had they planned this? Was this all a ploy to humiliate her?
Her shadows flickered inside her, soothing her, cooling the heat building in her. She blinked. Kate was watching her carefully, concern in her eyes. “What’s going on, Lo?”
Harlow tried to stay calm, but her emotions spun out of control. “I honestly don’t know. You still only like women, right?”
