Page 30 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
“I wish you’d let me drive you,” Finn said as he sat down next to her.
He was too close, but she’d sat at the end of the bench and there was nowhere to scoot away from his tantalizing heat. “I’m fine.”
“You’re clearly not.”
She sighed and threw back her head in a silent scream, shaking her fists at the wind. It felt a little embarrassing to lose her cool, but it also made her feel marginally better.
He bumped her shoulder with his. “See. Not fine. What’s up?”
The gesture was friendly, too friendly. Maybe that would make things easier. Gods above, she didn’t want to be having this conversation. She didn’t know any way to begin that might soften the blow of her questions, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. “Did you know about the offers your parents have been making mine?”
She watched his face carefully, wishing she had Enzo’s talent for empathy. His eyes darkened with confusion. “No, what do you mean?”
She gave it to him straight, no sugar-coating. “Apparently, if I bear your child they’ll stop harassing the Order of Mysteries about buying up the Row and help us to keep the Order of Night from destroying our tenuous alliances with the humans.Apparently, the vampires are killing them again and your parents won’t help until I make a baby with you.”
He sprang away from her, so fast it caught her by surprise. It was easy to forget the Illuminated were different from the rest of the Orders, that they were more like gods than the creatures of the lower Orders—until one of them moved like that or did magic. Then it was easy to remember that they ruled the world with an ironclad grip for a reason.
Fury burned in Finn’s eyes. “They…” he appeared to be struggling to breathe. “Said what?”
Harlow was tempted to shrink back. When Mark got angry with her, when his fury rose the way Finn’s did now, she always had. But tonight she felt reckless and she let her sharp tongue fly. “Oh, you heard me. Did you know they’ve been planning this? How long has this been going on?”
She braced for retaliation, for cruel words about her and her family’s inferiority. But he didn’t react like Mark did to her moments of bravery, with that cold, devious anger that smelled like danger. No, Finn was as distressed as she was. He paced like a caged animal, and for all his bulk and preternatural grace, she wasn’t afraid. He was objectively one of the most terrifying people in Nytra, and yet, she was not afraid.
This surprised her. When Mark was angry, she wasalwaysafraid, frozen with cold terror, waiting to make her next wrong move, because all her moves were wrong when she and Mark argued. But something about Finn’s reaction comforted her, as enraged as he seemed. It was clear he wasn’t angry at her.
But why should he be?she thought to herself.It’s his family that’s done something wrong.
It hadn’t ever mattered who was wrong with Mark. It was always Harlow’s fault. Her heart clenched as the depth of the comparison she was making hit her. How had she missed this reality when she lived with Mark? The unfairness of his anger had never occurred to her. Even when she resisted it, deep down, she’d believed it was her fault for mouthing off. For making him mad.
The sound of Finn’s voice brought her back to the present moment. He knelt before her. “I didn’t know. Harls, I promise. I knew they had some harebrained scheme about you. They’ve been hinting, but we don’t talk much since… Well, ever...” He was out of breath, panicking. “And I knew something was up with the Order of Night, but I thought it was being handled. The sorcière can’t keep them in check on their own. Obviously, we need to help. There’s too many humans… If they decided to stand against us… Gods, Harlow...”
His eyes were wild as he got up. He began to pace again and she saw the way his hands shook as he moved. On a strange whim, she caught one of them as he passed her. “Finn.Finn.”
He stopped and knelt in front of her again, his head bowed as though he were a penitent, or a knight to his lady. Her heart thumped a little too hard at the thoughts that his position before her brought up. Finn’s voice was determined when he spoke. “I will stop this. I promise.”
“How?” The question was simple, but it seemed to break him. He curled into a rather large ball at her feet.
“I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”
She knew it would come to this when she left her parents’ house. A part of her had always known it would come down to this when she agreed to take part in the season— that her family’s fortune would depend on the two of them. It was what his parents wanted, and theyalwaysgot what they wanted. There wasn’t any way out of this, not really. They were trapped, both of them, stuck in inescapable patterns, no matter how much they wanted things to change.
Harlow sighed. “You don’t have to. I’ll do it.”
Finn’s head shot up. “You’ll dowhat?”
“Have the baby. Give you an heir.”
“Pair with me?Bondwith me?”
She shrugged. “If that’s what it takes.”
He looked as though he would vomit. “Absolutely not.”
“I’m that repulsive to you? Is there someone else?”
He stood, backing away from her in horror. “NO,” he shouted.
When she shrank away he looked confused for a moment. Then understanding flickered in his eyes. Some recognition of her reaction, deep within himself. He crouched down again, making himself small in front of her, bowing his head. Finn McKay, one of the most powerful Illuminated in all Okairos, bowed before her, making himself innocuous to soothe her.What was happening here?
