Page 27 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
Harlow mirrored her mother and shook her head. “I just can’t.”
“You hate your apartment.”
Harlowlovedher apartment, but that would be hard to explain to Aurelia, who liked everything in her life to be just so. “I need to be there for a while. It was so good to be here this weekend, to be with all of you and to forget about everything that’s wrong, but I need my own place.”
“Tell me why.” Aurelia’s expression suggested a willingness to listen.
Harlow sighed. “Because I have things I need to work out, and if I stay here, you and Mama will work the magic you work without even thinking, and I’ll feel better and forget that I need to sort myself out.”
“Would that be so bad? To let us help you? To feel better after everything that happened with Mark?”
Harlow got up and kissed Aurelia’s cheek. “It wouldn’t be if I’d actually work out all the bullshit going on in my head, but I won’t. I’ll just keep putting it off.”
“What’s going on up there, bun-bun?” Aurelia tapped Harlow’s forehead.
Harlow sat at Aurelia’s feet, rested her head on her lap, and thought about her mother’s question. “I feel like I can’t do anything right.”
“Is this about your magic? You know your talent will manifest soon enough. Your time with humans simply delayed things. Now that you’re back with us, safe in the lower Orders, things will right themselves.”
Harlow didn’t answer. Aurelia was usually very perceptive, but she and Mama had been skirting around asking what really happened with Mark for six months. All Harlow had told them was that it was over and her new address.
Aurelia tipped Harlow’s head up so their eyes met. “What happened with Mark, bun?”
She took a shaky breath, remembering what she’d told Larkin about their parents understanding the world better than they gave them credit for. “You were all right. He was hurting me.”
Aether surged in the threads of magic around Aurelia, dark and menacing, a reminder that her mother was a force to be reckoned with. Harlow shook her head. “Not physically. But the way he talked to me… It was confusing. Even now, I know he was manipulating me, but I can’t shake the feeling I’m the one who was wrong.”
Her mother’s eyes narrowed in fury. “I will kill him.”
Harlow believed it. “That would only get us in trouble with the Consortium. It’s not against the law to make someone believe you’re the only person they can trust. He twisted everything anyone said to me in so many ways… I thought for a long time that you all hated me.”
“We wereafraidfor you, my darling,” Aurelia said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You changed so much in such a short time. We weren’t sure how to address it without making things worse. Mama and I know we made a mistake. We should have gotten you out of there sooner.”
Harlow bit her lip, trying not to cry. “I wouldn’t have gone, and if you’d have forced me, you’d have proven him right. The worst part is that he knew it. He knew he had me fooled.”
Threads of magic sputtered with power, sizzling around Aurelia’s fingertips. She drew them back from Harlow. “I’m sorry, bun. I’m finding it difficult to control myself.”
Harlow took her mother’s hands and kissed them, letting the little sparks of power fizzle out against her skin. “I didn’t know how much he’d fooled me until the day he kicked me out.”
“Why did he do it? If he had you fooled, why did he let you go?”
Harlow couldn’t meet Aurelia’s gaze. “I don’t really know.”
The magic flared around Aurelia’s fingertips again. “What doesthatmean?”
“I don’t remember the last night very well. There’s a kind of blank spot in my memory. I remember some of the fight we had, that he pushed too far about Order secrets, but I can’t remember the particulars… and then everything goes blank until I woke up here the next day.”
Something broke in Aurelia’s eyes as Harlow met them. “Darling girl, I am so sorry. I didn’t know.”
Harlow took one last wobbly breath. “And I left a friend behind.”
Aurelia’s brow wrinkled. “Who?”
Harlow’s shoulders slumped with the burden of her guilt. “I adopted a street cat when he forced me to quit my job at the shelter. The only part of our argument I remember is that he took Axel from me. I’ve texted him dozens of times, trying to get him back, but he doesn’t answer.” She choked on a sob. “I don’t even know if he’s okay.”
“My sweet girl.” Aurelia stroked her hair. “We’ll get Axel back, I promise you that.” Aurelia’s tone was reassuring, but it wouldn’t make up for the months she’d let her ragamuffin baby stay with Mark.
Harlow stared at her hands. “The whole thing made me feel like I don’t deserve to have good things happen to me. I can’t seem to take care of myself, or care what happens to me unless I think about you all.”
