Page 91 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
They were still planning on the faux proposal at the gala, and she knew what was in the little box, though they hadn’t talked about it specifically. “Okay,” she said, trying to keep the shake out of her voice.
Harlow was curled in a chair that she and her shadows had created. She’d been busy creating a lot of furniture over the past few days to give everyone somewhere to justbe, since they were all spending so much time in the house together. Finn perched uncomfortably on the arm of her chair.
“I don’t really know where to be when I hand this to you.”
“I think you’re supposed to get down on one knee.”
He smirked at her, raising an eyebrow. “I know what to do tonight. But right now… This feels awkward.”
She nodded, holding her hand out. “Just hand it over.”
He did so and then got up, striding across the empty library to look out the windows into the front yard, where Alaric, Arebos and the twins were tossing a frisbee around. The sun had burst through the morning gloom and the sounds of everyone having a good time were comforting to hear.
Harlow opened the little box and her heart leapt at the sight of the ring. It was simple, not at all the heavy, elaborate style of most Illuminated jewelry. A single emerald-cut sapphire, set in a gold band. The stone was large, but not ostentatiously so. She slipped it on her finger. It fit perfectly. She resisted the urge to gaze at it any longer than necessary.
Quickly, she returned it to its box and snapped it shut, not bothering to close it slowly or quietly. She rolled her shoulders, swallowing hard. This was not a romantic moment, she reminded herself. They were just working together, nothing more, until she could figure herself out. And at this rate, with no time to herself, she had no idea when that might be.
Finn turned, taking a deep breath. “So it fits?”
“Yes,” she said, afraid to say anything else.
If she spoke one more word, she’d tell him how perfect it was. How the deep blue of the stone reminded her of her shadows, and the simple setting was exactly what she’d always hoped for. Her fingers ached with regret as she held the box out. She hated to give it back.
“Fits perfectly. Nice job.”
He took the ring from her, and to someone who didn’t know him, perhaps he’d seem calm and collected, but she saw the slight tremble in his fingers as he gripped the box. He was as affected by the moment as she was.
“All right then,” he said. “I should go shower.”
“Sounds good,” she replied, pretending to be engrossed in her phone. The phantom weight of the ring on her finger haunted her as she listened to him walk upstairs. His footsteps were slow, and she felt the tug between them as viscerally as if it were a cord, desperate to coil back together, instead of being stretched to its breaking point.
She closed her eyes. She’d taken her shower an hour ago, and Thea would make short work of her face, hair and nails. Her dress was hanging upstairs in the room she and Larkin shared, and she barely cared about putting it on. It was beautiful, of course, but everything about tonight felt like something to get through, rather than what she’d hoped it would be a few weeks ago.
Even then, she’d known they’d probably be pretending tonight, but the possibilities would still be wide open. Things hadn’t been so complicated then. The thought made her laugh to herself now.Thathad been simple? She closed her eyes, regulating her breathing and took herself back to the night she and Mark had broken up once more.
She’d been trying every day to remember more, and like Enzo had said it might, some of what she’d forgotten had grown clearer, the tangles around the dark spot in her mind loosening day after day, but she still could not reach the actual memory, and she felt sure now that she wouldn’t be able to move on until she confronted whatever it was she’d been trying to forget.
As she sunk deeper into her mind, aided by her shadow magic, she saw it clearly. She and Mark had been arguing, which was nothing unusual. He’d asked her for the thousandth time to tell him something she wasn’t allowed to reveal about the Order of Mysteries.But what had it been?
And there it was, right in front of her. She watched, as though it were an old film, the two of them flashing before her. Him and her.How dare you speak to me that way?Her and him.Just who do you think you are?She picked Axel up, said she was going to bed, and then… Nothing, she couldn’t remember anything else. A slippery wall of dark glass stood in front of her. She pounded on it until her fists actually hurt, but it stayed firmly in place.
Harlow slid back into her conscious mind. She glanced down at her hands, which throbbed with pain. Dark bruises covered her wrists, a physical manifestation of the vision she had. Why couldn’t she remember?
She made the long climb upstairs, and her sisters buzzed around her in a haze of actions she barely registered. Her mind was stuck in front of that glass, seeing her own eyes glowing back at her in the dark.
Thea’s voice broke into her quiet reverie as she gingerly held Harlow’s hands in front of her face. “What happened here?”
Harlow looked up. “I’ve been trying to remember the night it ended with me and Mark.”
Her sister sucked a sharp gasp in. “And in remembering, these bruises appeared?”
Harlow nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Every time I return to the memory, it’s like there’s glass in front of me, between me and what I can’t remember. I was pounding on the glass in my vision just now.” She sighed, exhausted. “I shouldn’t have tried, but Finn showed me the ring for tonight… and I thought…”
Thea shook her head, dismissing something about what Harlow said. “I know what you thought, but do you not remember these bruises?”
Harlow’s frowned. “No? What do you mean?”
Thea held them up in front of the mirror Harlow was seated in front of. Thea had finished with her hair and makeup. “When I found you, you were pounding on the back door to Mark’s building, sobbing. Your hands and arms were bruised,exactlylike this. I’ll never forget the shape of those bruises. Your knees and legs too. You were all banged up—you said you fell…”
