Page 64 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
The idea that he would walk away, let her go, let herchoose, made her throat clench. Air seemed scarce. Harlow closed her eyes. “I need time for my mind to catch up. This is how I am.”
His voice was soft in her ear, his lips brushing her neck, while her eyes stayed squeezed shut. “I remember.”
She wound her arms around him. He kissed her forehead and was gone. When she was alone, she considered that Finn had known her almost her whole life. That he knew the way she needed time to herself to process things quietly meant something. That he respected her enough to walk away if she asked meant even more. A seed of trust drove deep into her soul and took root.
Her shadows sang at the progress she made, and she let them dance around her fingers as she thought things over. While she needed time like this to be quiet and let her brain work things through, she knew he needed to take a more active approach. Finn needed todosomething, rather than think. It had the possibility to cause conflict between them, but if they managed it right, gave each other space to be themselves—it was possible they’d be stronger together.
Harlow took several long breaths, finally opening her eyes. The door to the terrace slid open. Thea pressed a mug of tea into her hands and curled up next to her on the settee. Harlow let the sound of the rain drown everything else out while she tried to find her way back to herself again.
ChapterTwenty-Six
“Why do you think Finn and I could do anything to bring equity to the world?” Harlow asked her sister after a time. She appreciated the company, but she wasn’t going to be able to process her feelings with Thea watching her, so she might as well get some questions answered.
“The Scroll of Akatei. That’s what it’s all about.”
Harlow shook her head. “Spell it out for me, Thea. I’m tired.”
“The Scroll of Akatei isn’t a written text. It’s mostly images, and the few inscriptions are vague to the point of opacity and in a variety of ancient languages that are difficult to translate. Many of the images are deceptively similar to those we’re used to seeing in humans’ alchemical texts, which would have been the Scroll’s contemporaries, but there’s more to it than that. Alaric and I think it’s the story of the Illuminated—what they weresupposedto do when they came here.”
“Which was what?” Harlow asked, exhaustion growing closer by the minute.
“Activate this realm’s magic… for everyone.”
Harlow’s head hurt. “Didn’t they do that, sort of? I mean, the Orders are their children and we’re all magical to some extent, right?”
“Yes, but they weren’t supposed to come here and have children. They weresupposedto come and unlock magic for everyone, making it accessible to anyone. Instead, they hoarded it for themselves, and a very small amount of the world.”
Thea was obviously frustrated by Harlow’s slow uptake and her tone was bordering on condescending. Harlow also got the distinct impression there was more to the story that Thea wasn’t saying. She was keeping secrets for Alaric, and the Illuminated, and Harlow couldn’t help but feel betrayed.
“And how were they going to do that?” Harlow asked, feeling snappish.
Now Thea looked perplexed. “We don’t know. Again, the Scroll is a series of images and I was unable to restore most of them, in addition to the fact that a crucial piece is missing. It was damaged magically.”
“How did Merkhov get her hands on it?” Harlow’s question was more idle wondering than actual question, but Thea’s eyes lit up.
“That is a really good question. One I hope we’ll answer when we find out more about the triptych.”
Harlow suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at Thea’s tone. “Wonderful.”
Thea sighed, apparently annoyed by Harlow’s acidity. There was a long pause before she asked, “Are you going to congratulate me?”
“Of course. I’m happy for you both.” Unlike Selene, she had nothing invested in fancy bonding rituals, or days of celebration. Still, having so much kept from her stung. “I just wish you could have told me all this sooner. Why did the two of you wait for so long?”
Thea shrugged a little, looking distressed. “I wasn’t sure what to do, honestly. When I found most of this out, you were living with Mark and it seemed like it wouldn’t be a good time.”
Mark. Of course Thea hadn’t wanted to tell Harlow anything when she was with him. When she’d been with Mark, she’d been deemed untrustworthy, despite the fact that she’d kept all the Order’s secrets. Harlow drew her knees to her chest and pressed her forehead into her hands. “Okay. That makes sense. I’m not trying to be a jerk. This is all just a lot for me, and knowing you knew all of this—plus the truth about why Finn left me—it’s just a lot to take in, okay?”
Harlow hated how she’d start to melt down when things got overwhelming. In fact, she felt the tears building behind her eyes and she knew it wouldn’t be long before she was hysterical; she had to get out before that started. She didn’t want anyone trying to comfort her right now.
“I’m going to go home. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, forcing an evenness she didn’t feel into her voice.
“Okay,” Thea replied softly.
Her luminous eyes filled with tears, but Harlow couldn’t stop to say anything kind. She didn’t want to hurt her sister, but Thea purposely kept things from her while watching her implode. Thea was the one person who knew how much Finn had hurt her and the fact that she also could have stopped so much of that pain with the knowledge she withheld cut deep, too deep.
As she stood, Thea clasped her hand. “Iamsorry, Harlow. I made a mistake not telling you, or at least not encouraging you to talk to Finn. Alaric and I should have tried harder to get you two to talk.”
Harlow drew her hand back like she’d been stung, but Thea held on. “No.Youshould have told me what you knew. I know you’re sorry now, but you knew how bad things were for me right before I met Mark. You knew and youstilldidn’t tell me.”
