Page 54 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
She stood, feeling restless and not at all brave, but she didn’t contradict him. She needed him to think better of her than she really was right now. If he could think of her that way, maybe it might build a bridge she could cross for herself. She couldn’t depend on him to make her whole, she’d have to do that herself, but it was all right to let someone help her, wasn’t it?
His eyes followed her as she walked around the room, her dress swirling around her feet. The Solon Mai ball seemed eons in the past, rather than just hours ago. She felt his gaze caress her back, as tangible as if his fingers dragged over the buttons of her dress. He was giving her time, moving slow like she’d asked. She leaned against the doorway to the bathroom, watching him watch her.
He’d misunderstood her. She needed time for her heart. She couldn’t reciprocate what he felt for her right now, not in the way she wanted to, but in the meantime, there were other things they could do. Other ways to build trust between them. She hadn’t slept with anyone since Mark, hadn’t even wanted to. But this was different: this was Finn, and she wanted him, and he so clearly wanted her too. That much she could trust with every fiber of her being.
“Come here,” she murmured, so softly she wondered if he’d hear her.
He was there in an instant, but he hesitated, the heat of his body warming her. Her breath hitched as his eyes met hers. “You’re sure?” he asked.
“Yes,” she breathed as he stepped closer. “I’m sure.”
And she was. Sure that while it might take some time for her mind to wrap around the complexity of their past, that he’d been honest with her. That he’d told her what he did at a potential cost to what he wanted most, and that was so far removed from what she’d grown comfortable believing she deserved that it surprised her. Beyond that, she was sure that tonight her body washers, no one else’s, and that reverent look in his eyes told her he was ready to worship it.
Harlow was absolutely certain that was part of what she needed to move forward, to trust someone to treat her with respect, to look at her that way tonight and give her freedom and choice tomorrow. But still, he hesitated, his eyes searching hers.
She reached for him, pulling him by the shirt until her back pressed against the wall and the hard planes of his body pushed into her. His eyes stayed on hers as she wrapped her arms around his neck. A small voice cautioned that he wasn’t touching her, that she’d misread him, that he didn’t want her. She banished it immediately. That wasn’t it.
He was letting her lead. He understood that too many choices had been taken from her, that she’d been helpless against the waves of mistakes that had crashed over her for far too long, and now he was letting her be the one to take action.
Finn’s head dipped towards hers as she lifted her chin, her lips parting. His chest heaved in time with hers. They were barely touching, and her body already responded to the proximity of his. She tugged his head closer to hers, and their lips met.
The kiss was slow, languid even, as she parted her lips to allow his tongue to dance against hers. Her fingers dug into the hair at the nape of his neck as he deepened the kiss further. He still wasn’t touching her with his hands, but her aching breasts met his chest as her back curved, propelling her forward, greedy to make more contact with him.
As she arched hard into him, a deep moan rumbled from his chest, vibrating into her now-molten core. One of his thighs parted her legs as his hands glided up her sides, grazing the curve of her breasts, before they fastened around her waist, dragging her against him as he rocked into her. Every nerve in her body lit with the flame of his touch, heat gathering between her legs, where that thigh offered her release. But he did not press harder into her, did not bring it closer to the swollen flesh between her legs.
He kissed her hard, and each thrust of his tongue teased the release she wanted, but he offered that thigh and it was up to her to take her pleasure. She pulled him closer, parting her legs a bit more and tilting her pelvis until his leg and sizable erection made contact with her.
A moan broke free from her lips, throaty and deep as she ground herself against him. With that, he responded, grabbing her ass and pulling her against him as he aided her efforts to increase the friction between them. His mouth slid down to her neck as his fingers gripped her ass. She was openly whimpering, wordless noise urging him on.
“Come for me,” he said, voice husky and low as his tongue swept the sensitive shell of her ear.
She wanted to, but she needed more. More than just this sweet agitation. “I need you inside me.”
He pulled away from her, but just slightly, letting her legs lower as his hands moved. He passed a hand over the inside of his wrist, illuminating the expensive sigil embedded under his skin that protected against pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. Her heart beat faster as she showed him her own. They were really going to do this, after so many years of waiting, of sadness—tonight they’d begin again, find a new way forward.
Finn’s lips curved upward into a smile as his hands traveled to her breasts, to the hard peaks of her nipples, his thumbs sweeping across them in tantalizing circles. “Turn around,” he said.
She obliged, her knees weak as she braced herself against the wall. He made short work of the buttons on the back of her dress, as he kissed her neck. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said as he pushed the dress off her shoulders.
He pulled her against him as she kicked the dress aside, caressing her breasts and then lower to her stomach. She flinched slightly and he stopped. “Are you all right?”
“It’s just…” She didn’t want to think about Mark right now. It was the last thing she wanted. “I… I gained weight when I was with Mark.”
He froze for a moment, then turned her so that she faced him. His eyes had that predatory, dangerous look she recognized from before. “And?” he asked, his voice soft and deadly.
“And he didn’t like it.” Her chin began to shake and she squeezed her eyes shut. This was going to ruin everything. They’d been having a good time, and she just had to ruin it.
She heard the sharp breath he took, but his voice was steady, eternally calm, when he said, “Harls, open your eyes.”
She did. He’d shed all his clothes in a mere instant, using that Illuminated speed. He was breathtaking, and she wasn’t sure what he was trying to accomplish, but it only made her feel more unsure about what they were about to do. She wasn’t like she was in secondary, she wasn’t thin anymore, and Mark had accused her of “letting herself go.”
“Look at me, Harlow,” Finn commanded. “Look how fucking hard I am.”
She looked, blushing slightly. His cock was thick with desire for her and he stroked it a few times, one side of his mouth lifting slightly. “That’s for you. BecauseIlike it—the way you look rightnow.” He stepped closer, and his voice dropped lower. “That’s not quite true, I don’t like it, I fucking love it.”
Her breath caught as he spun her around, pinning her against him again, in the same position they’d been in when she flinched. Now his hot skin pressed against hers, only the thin fabric of the bodysuit separating them.
His hands cupped her breasts, and he lightly pinched her nipples through the bodysuit as his mouth met her neck again. “Ever since I ran into you on Mulberry Street, I’ve been thinking of your body, what you’d feel like if I got to touch you like this.”
