Page 31 of Dark Night Golden Dawn
Harlow’s blood rushed through her veins as he gingerly took her fingers into his hands, giving her every opportunity to pull away. When he spoke, his voice was as soft and gentle as it was deep. “No. There’s no one else.”
He looked up, straight into her eyes and there was not a shred of deceit in them. By now, Harlow knew what manipulation looked like, and there wasn’t a trace of its poison on him. “Gods Harlow, do you think I’d really force you into something like that?”
Harlow tried to claw past all the complicated feelings swirling in her chest. Finn McKay might not be fooling her right now, but he was still her enemy. Still one of the Illuminated. He could not be fully trusted. She needed to get the control back in this conversation. “It’s not forcing if I accept.”
He carefully placed her hands back in her lap and stepped away from her. “Well, I don’t. Accept that is. I won’t be that to you, and fuck you for trying to convince me to be a part of this.”
“Fuckme? Are you kidding?” There was that sharp tongue of hers again, just begging to make him angry, egging him on, daring him to turn on her. Daring him to transform into the monster she expected.
But he didn’t turn into anything. He stayed infuriatinglyFinn. He pushed his hands through his dark hair, taking breath after shuddering breath, eyeing her warily. For a moment she saw herself the way he did. Yet another person pushing him to do something he clearly didn’t want to do. She could understand that at least, being with her was a nightmare—it was one of the things Mark told her about herself that she truly believed. She wrecked people, and she would hurt Finn too before all this was over; and part of her wanted to, wanted vengeance for how he’d hurt her. She was the monster here, not him.
But Harlow couldn’t care about that. She’d already made her decision. She would do whatever it took to keep her sisters from having to make alliances like this one, and she’d keep her Order from losing the little power that was theirs. If the McKays wanted her, they could have her. The baby was another story, but she’d find a way around that later.
His breath steadied and his eyes cleared. “We need to delay my parents’ plans so we can figure things out.”
Harlow nodded, relieved that he would at least help her. “What do you have in mind?”
He covered his face with his hands and took a few deep breaths. “The Solon Mai event is next weekend. At it, we’ll convince everyone we’re falling for each other and by Solstice, I’ll ask for your hand.”
“Okay, I think that was my plan. You just said it nicer—without all the baby stuff.”
He shrugged. “It could work to buy us some time anyway.”
She rolled her eyes. “Is anyone going to believe we went from hating each other to cozying up at Solon Mai?”
His eyes widened. “You hate me?”
A cold breeze bit into her skin, making her eyes water. “I don’t know. I used to.”
When she looked up, there was something like despair on his face for a moment. Then it cleared and he was collected as ever. “There’s season-sponsored cocktail parties all week this week. We can plan to be at the same ones and you know… warm up to each other again.”
“And then what? My family’s whole life is on the line here. We need to have a better plan than this.”
He slid onto the bench next to her, sitting further away this time. “Hopefully, by Solstice I can convince my parents to do the right thing, leave the Row alone and help with the Order of Night. I’ll find something else they want and give it to them. I’ll go work for my dad if I have to. You won’t have to go through with it and then… I don’t know, we’ll have a terrible fight and break up.”
She sat frozen, listening. It was a decent plan. Not the most brilliant plan of all time. Some would say faking a relationship was an old trick, but it might work. “And what if they don’t comply? What if they won’t do any of it ‘til I breed with you?”
“Holy Raia, Mother of all. The mouth on you.”
She looked at him, eyes hard, expecting to see reproach in his expression or the kind of anger that meant he’d punish her for days with the silent treatment. Instead, she found desire, awe, something like pride. His hand drifted towards her, then fell before making contact.
“Well?” she demanded, flustered by the way her heart beat faster every time she pushed him and he didn’t react a thing like Mark would have. “What’s your plan if none of it works?”
“Then I’ll consider your way. But my way will work.”
She had her doubts, but at least he’d agreed.
“We’ll have to convince everyone,” she murmured. “Even Alaric and Thea.”
He slid closer and flopped against her with a familiarity that both comforted and scared her. “Especially them. They’re the two worst liars I know.”
She nodded and got up before things could get too intimate. All of this was confusing, more confusing than she’d anticipated. “See you this week. I’ll text you about the parties I want to attend. Not too many though.”
He nodded. “One should be enough, and maybe coffee somewhere the Section Seven people like to get photos… Maybe the new place on Eighty-eighth and Vine? The one with the succulent wall everyone on socials likes?”
“Sure. Whatever you want.” The whole thing was starting to make Harlow sick. She wanted to go home.
“Should we… talk about things?”
