Page 14 of Christmas By Lamplight
“Yeah. It’s amazing.” But he was looking at Carrie. “It’s everything I’ve been working toward. The kind of role that could change everything.”
Shannon looked from Tanner to Carrie, then said softly, “Uh, I’ve got . . . stuff to do in the back room,” and she disappeared.
“That’s amazing.” Carrie tried to sound excited, but her heart wasn’t in it. She managed to keep her voice steady. “Tanner, this is your shot. You have to take it.”
“I know.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wrapped box. “But first—I found this. From Santa. It has your name on it.”
Carrie took the box, recognizing the Secret Santa wrapping paper they’d used for the children’s gifts. Inside was a folded check and a note: “For Carrie Watson, who gave children Christmas magic. From your Secret Santa.”
The amount was exactly what she needed for her lease payment.
She looked up at Tanner, her eyes stinging. “Secret Santa’s bank account had your name on it.”
“I didn’t have it in cash.” But his eyes gave him away.
“But this is for five thousand dollars. I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t mean to, but I happened to see the late due notice on your desk. You deserve a Christmas miracle as much as those children.”
“Tanner, I can’t accept this.”
“It’s not from me. It’s from Santa, and I’ve got the suit to prove it.”
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked. “Dennis?”
Rumor has it the bookshop is closing. I’m sorry to hear it, but I tried to warn you. Give me a call. I miss you. -D
Dennis. Somehow he’d found out. Of course he had. And now he thought she would come crawling back.
She looked at the check in her hand, then at Tanner. He was so kind to want to rescue her. And then she thought of Dennis. How like him to reach out when he knew she was down, thinking he could manipulate his way back into her life.
“Tanner, I can’t take your money. I left Dennis to prove I could do this on my own, and I meant it. Succeed or fail, I’ve got to do it myself. Otherwise, I’d be trading one man’s control for another man’s rescue.”
“Carrie, I didn’t mean it like that?—”
“I know. This is a kind and generous gift, because that’s who you are. You’ve fixed all the things that were broken, and you’ve brought me coffee. And I love that about you. I love . . . that you want to save my shop. But I can’t. How is succeeding with your help any different from Dennis telling me I’ll fail without him?
“Because I believe you can succeed. This is just?—”
“Me needing to be saved.” She pressed the check into his hand. “And maybe you’re right. But I have to figure it out on my own or at least try.”
He looked at the check, then at her. “The payment’s due in four days.”
“I know.” Her voice cracked slightly. “But I’d rather lose the shop than lose myself again.” She smiled, and it almost felt real. “Go to LA. Take the role. Be amazing. I’ll be here cheering you on from a distance.”
He seemed ready to argue. Instead, he just nodded and pocketed the check. “Okay.”
Carrie forced a smile, but when she lifted her eyes to meet his, she couldn’t hide her conflicting emotions, her feelings about losing him to LA, and the knowledge that she had just sealed her fate.
His eyes darkened as he gazed intensely. “I’m not leaving yet. I need to know you’re okay before I go.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze and then headed for the stairs. At the doorway, he paused if he had something to say, but he gave the door frame a pat and headed upstairs.
Minutes later, Shannon left, giving Carrie a hug on the way out. “Get some rest. It’s been a long day.”
But Carrie couldn’t leave. Not yet.
The shop was quiet, just Carrie, the books, and the light from the streetlamps filtering through the window. She walked slowly through the aisles, running her fingers along the spines. Fiction. Mystery. Romance. Children’s books. Local authors. Each section she’d curated, organized, loved into being.
She stopped at the shelf Tanner had fixed. She tested its stability the way he had, pressing her full weight against it. Solid. Dependable. Everything he was and what she tried to be.
