Page 202 of Not Another Yesterday
“Dad, actually, do you mind if I say something?”
“Sure, Ran, go ahead,” he says, as everyone looks at me with quizzical expressions.
My heart slams against my ribs like it’s trying to make a run for it. My hands are sweaty. And yeah, I’ve been through some terrifying shit in my life, but somehow this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
I look at Cat, and everything else falls away.
“It’s been a hell of a couple of years,” I say. “Actually, it’s been a hell of alifeso far, but we’re not gonna talk about that today. Because all those years before you? They don’t really matter anymore.” I pause, laugh awkwardly. “Shit. I suck at this. Sorry.”
Everyone chuckles. It gives me just enough air to keep going.
“I know today’s hard for you,” I say. Cat nods, already tearing up. “I wish I could make it better. I wish I could take away everything that’s ever hurt you. I wish I could undo all the shit I put you through. But then again… maybe I wouldn’t. Not really. Because even when things were bad—andfuck, some days felt like the whole damn world wascaving in—you were always the part of it that felt like home. You’re still the best, most unwavering, mostrealpart of me.”
I swallow hard. “You make it easier. Always have. From the moment I met you, I knew it was you or no one. You have this way of easing the weight I carry. You make unbearable shit feel bearable. And when things got really bad at home—like, the kind of bad you don’t talk about in polite company—you were the reason I didn’t give up. I don’t mean to put that on you, but you need to know that you were the reason I fought. You were the reason Ilived. You kept me breathing when I didn’t think I could anymore.”
Cat watches me, unspeaking, eyes wide and shimmering.
“And even after everything, you were there. After the trauma, after the trial… you loved me through it. Even when I left. You loved me over distance. Steady. Never judging, always telling me I’m worthy of love, even when I couldn’t believe it myself. I still think you’re full of shit most of the time, but I promise, I’m working on that.”
More quiet laughter from the table, but I don’t look away from Cat.
“For a moment, it felt like maybe we’d turned a corner. Things were good. But then my grandmother showed up, and there was… I learned some truly unnerving shit. And I spiraled. I spiraled and pushed you away in the worst possible way. Baby, I know I left. I leftyou.Emotionally, mentally, I checked out. More than once. And I almost didn’t come back. But, god, Cat, I always wanted you. I always loved you.”
My voice cracks on the memory like stained glass.
“I promise, I tried to get better, tried to figure it all out somehow, tried to… find myself. And you let me do that. You never demanded anything. You just let me heal.”
I pause, locking eyes with her.
“I still have healing to do. I know that. I probably always will. But you need to know something, Cat:youwere never something I neededto heal from. You were, and are, my healing. You are the safest place I’ve ever known.”
She chokes on a sob, and I step closer.
“I’m just glad that you took me back, baby. I half-expected you to have moved on, to have fallen out of love with me. But you welcomed me back and then… well, the last nine months happened. And honestly, some days it feels like we can’t catch a damn break. Like the universe keeps testing us and testing us and testing us again.”
I take a deep, cleansing breath.
“I don’t care anymore. I don’t need any more tests. I spent an entire lifetime lost. And then you found me, which in turn allowed me to find myself. It took me a minute but… I know what I want. I knowwhoI want. I want you. Forever.”
I pull the simple gold ring from my pocket, the single oval diamond grabbing all the attention, and get down on one knee. “And I want forever to start now.”
“Bobby, what is he doing? Is he proposing?” I hear Jen gasp somewhere behind me, but it’s like I have blinders on. All I see is Cat, her hands covering her mouth, her eyes wide and locked on mine.
“Baby, marry me. Please!”
She laughs and cries all at once. “Of course I’ll marry you, Ran!”
“Are you serious?” I ask, in complete disbelief.
“Yes,” she laughs again.
I slide the ring onto her finger before pulling her into my arms and kissing her like it’s the last breath I’ll ever take.
It doesn’t take long before we’re surrounded by everyone, giving and getting hugs. Jen and Penny swoon over Cat’s ring, which honestly cost me a small fortune. I figured since we didn’t end up having to buy all the baby essentials, I might as well spoil her.
“Bobby, did you know about this?” Jen asks him loudly when she catches sight of him grinning widely.
He chuckles. “Sort of. Ronan hadthe talkwith me a few weeks ago.”
