Page 104 of Not Another Yesterday
If my neck could creak, it would. I slowly turn to face her. Even though her eyes stay fixed on the empty one-lane highway ahead, her raised eyebrows tell me she’s waiting for me to say something.
I press my lips together hard enough to feel the sharp sting of teeth on skin. I don’t know that anything she says will change how I feel. She wants Ronan. She’s made that clear again and again. And she obviously doesn’t care who gets stepped on in the process.
But still, her phrasing hooks me.
Would you rather I just tell you why Rony slept with me?
Honestly? Yeah. I would.
I turn to her, arms folded across my chest.
She glances at me. “Alright, so… no smackdown?”
“No smackdown,” I say. “As tempting as that is.”
The laughter that bursts from Miranda’s lips makes the corners of my lips tug into a smile. At least she’s got a decent sense of humor.
“Not a fighter, huh?” she teases.
“Don’t underestimate me.”
Miranda raises one hand in mock surrender, giggling. “I’d never.”
She takes a deep breath, then exhales slowly.
“I love Ronan,” she starts.
My spine stiffens.
“I’ve loved Ronan since we were kids. I was twelve when we met, and let’s just say we became really close really fast.”
“Yeah, I know that,” I say, unable to keep the edge out of my voice.
She doesn’t seem to take offense. Instead, she glances at me with a soft smile. “But Ronandoesn’tlove me. He never has.” There’s something raw in her voice, something that stings my chest in spite of everything.
I shake my head. “You’re wrong. Hedoeslove you. When you called from Tennessee, he dropped everything to get to you. He just up and left.”
“That’s different. That’s Rony being Rony,” she says. “Yeah, he loves me. But not like that. He doesn’t love me like he loves you, Cat.” She pauses, eyes back on the road. “He’s never loved a girl the way he loves you. And, Cat, that’s still true. Right now. This second. Rony loves you.”
Her words slam into me like a ramrod. And maybe it’s the fact that it’shersaying it—when she has every reason not to—that makes me believe it.
“And Friday? When we, you know—”
“Yeah,” I mutter. I guess I appreciate her not saying it out loud again.
“Rony and I were talking, and he…” She sighs. “He’s so sad, Cat. He’s all twisted up inside. His thoughts, his dreams. They scare him. And…” She trails off. “You guys need to talk. It’s not my place to tell you everything.”
“I’m intimidated by you,” I blurt.
Her mouth opens, then closes. “I… That’s not my intention.”
“I just don’t understand your relationship with him. You say he loves me like he’s never loved anyone, but you know things about him he never tells me. You had sex with him. He dropped everything to see you in Tennessee. He always answers your calls and steps away to talk to you. Hetrustsyou in this way I don’t understand. How do you get him to talk about his fears, his dreams, any of it? He doesn’t talk to me about those things. He never has. He just tells me he’s fine. Even when he’s very obviouslynotfine.”
The words spill out fast, full of frustration.
“That doesn’t make me special, Cat,” she says quietly. “It doesn’t mean he and I are anything more than friends. The only reason I know those darker parts of him is because I don’t let him get away with his bullshit. I don’t let him placate me.”
“I don’t let him get away with his bullshit, either,” I snap.
