Page 72 of Not Another Yesterday
“Sage advice,” I mutter.
He squeezes my shoulder, throws me a look of sympathy, then disappears into the little office to the right of the bar.
I take a deep breath and get back to whatever the fuck I was doing before the world’s biggest distraction walked into the restaurant. Except my eyes don’t cooperate. I keep glancing at her table. It’s strange having her here and having to deny myself when everything in me yearns to grab that quick kiss, catch a sweet smile meant only for me, tell her I love her as I pass her table. Ever since Cat first walked into Murphy’s after we met, having her around while I worked became my favorite part of the job. Now? Excruciating.
And it only gets worse thirty minutes later, when I glance over and clock two college-age guys are now sitting at the table. One of them is clearly smitten with Cat, leaning toward her, full-on beaming like she hung the damn moon. Can’t fucking blame him, I guess.
I know it’s no longer my business what Cat does with whom, but I’m not going to deny that the prospect of her with another guy makes me want to tear my own face off. I know it’s hypocritical, I know it’s fucked up. I was the one who broke things off, but not because I didn’t love her anymore. She deserves peace, stability, a family, and uncomplicated life—all things I’m incapable of ensuring. Not with the family I come from.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to throttle the guy talking to her.
“What are those two dudes talking about?” I ask Casey when she grabs a drink order at the bar.
“What dudes?”
“At Tori’s table.”
Casey clearly doesn’t buy my bullshit; her eyebrows rise to meet her hairline, her eyes widening empathetically. She doesn’t knowspecifics, but she knows enough. “Oh, yeah, the one with the dark, curly hair’s definitely trying to take Cat home tonight.”
I know I shouldn’t, know that I’m going against my resolve, butfuck it.I walk over to Cat’s table, my heart jumping into my throat when her eyes find mine, filling with mirrored longing. That’s all it takes. One look. Everything inside me goes tight and desperate. I want to fall to my knees. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I still love her. But I can’t—not if I mean to protect her.
The guy Casey mentioned is straddling a chair backwards, leaning in as he talks animatedly at Cat. He doesn’t realize that he no longer has her attention. I do.
“Tell me what you’re drinking again?” Vada asks the guy just as I step up to the table.
“It’s called a Jedi Mind Trick,” he says, swirling his drink so hard it sloshes over the rim.
“Looks like it’s working,” I say from behind him.
The guy whips around before looking down at the drink in his hand and where it’s spilled on the table.
“Oh shit, damn,” he mutters.
“I got this, man,” I say, nodding at the table. “Maybe you should go and grab yourself a new drink.”
“Yeah, cool, thanks.” He stands, motions for his friend to join him, then turns back to Cat. “Really awesome to run into you, Cat. It’s always a little weird to run into people outside of school.”
So they know each other from NYU. Perfect.
“If you guys don’t have plans, Dusty and I are heading to the Foxtail Lounge in a little bit…” The guy trails off.
“Okay. Good to see you, Levi,” Cat says.
Okay.But what kind ofokay? Is she being polite? Curious? Noncommittal?Fuck.
“You guys alright?” I ask the girls—mostly Cat, actually—when this Levi and his buddy Dusty are out of earshot.
Vada’s eyes go sharp. “Not really any of your business, Ran.”
Her line’s clearly drawn, side chosen. Not that she was required to.
“Woah, what the fuck was that for?” I chuff, irritated. I didn’t snap at her or Steve when they ended things, but I guess I shouldn’t expect Vada to remain neutral. That girl has never been Switzerland about anything.
“For being an asshole, Ran.”
“Fine, whatever.” I turn to Cat, dialing my voice down. “Are you alright?”
She nods, her hazel eyes wide. “I’m fine.”
