Page 54 of Not Another Yesterday
“No, it’s not just you,” my dad laughs. “I’m really worried about mixing them up and never being able to tell them apart,” he says. “Do you want to hold Dean?” he asks with a smile in his brown eyes, his voice warm.
I hesitate. “Uhh…” I feel everyone’s expectant gaze on me.
“Come on, Ran, hold your little brother,” Penny says.
I awkwardly hold my arms out for my dad to place my brother in them. Dean hardly weighs anything at all, and I can’t help but notice how fragile he feels in my arms. I suddenly feel too big, too muscular, too strong, too volatile to be holding something this… breakable. Like one wrong move could shatter him. What if I’m not wired for gentleness the way Cat is?
“Aw, you two,” Penny chirps, looking from me to Cat, each of us holding one of the babies. “You’re going to make great parents one day.”
Cat smiles, but I’m overcome with unease. It’s only made worse when Dean begins fussing in my arms. I eagerly return him to my dad.
“Babe, I think Dean’s hungry,” he says with a chuckle, moving to Penny’s bed.
“Again? Jeez, I feel like a cow,” Penny laughs.
Cat giggles. “Do they eat at the same time?” She’s still holding Kellan, looking utterly comfortable as she sways with the sleeping baby.
Penny huffs. “I wish.” I divert my eyes when she unbuttons her hospital gown, then moves Dean to breastfeed him. “No, they definitely don’t eat at the same time, which means I’ll never sleep again.” Penny laughs ruefully.
“I’m sure we’ll figure out a rhythm soon,” my dad says with an expression that I can only describe as a mix of pride and contentment.
“You’re awfully optimistic for someone who didn’t have to give birth and doesn’t have people sucking on their boobs all day and night,” Penny says only half-jokingly.
My dad chuckles. “Hey, I’d do all those things for you if I could, but seeing as I’m biologically incapable of doing so, I’ll just provide you with all my love and emotional support whenever I can.”
“Maybe you could pump some milk and then Frank can take some night shifts for you when you guys are home,” Cat says.
Penny beams at her. “That’s a great idea! Please keep your wisdom coming! Honestly, you’re going to be a fantastic mommy one day. You already have this figured out.”
A faint blush warms Cat’s face. “I had the advantage of being quite a bit older than my younger siblings, so I saw how my parents handled the newborn stage. My parents definitely teamed up,” Cat says. “My dad would take every other feeding so my mom could get some sleep. My dad also did most of the work at home for the first few months so my mom could rest when my siblings were asleep. So that helped, I think.”
“Well, looks like you’ll be doing all the laundry,” Penny says with a grin to my dad, who raises one dark eyebrow.
“Babe, I already do all the laundry.”
“Oh, right,” Penny laughs.
“Ran, do you want to hold Kellan?” Cat asks, taking a couple of steps toward me.
I shake my head. “I’m okay; knock yourself out, baby. Kellan looks perfectly content in your arms.” I smile at her even though my body feels tense. “Have you talked to Stevie?” I ask my dad, desperate to distract myself from the restlessness growing inside me.
“Yeah. He’s coming home in a couple of weeks to meet your brothers,” my dad says, his voice full of warmth and love as he looks at Penny.
Cat and I stay at the hospital another fifteen minutes. Only reluctantly does she transfer a still-sleeping Kellan into my dad’s arms when I suggest we head out to let Penny get some rest. To be honest, I’m eager to get out of here. Hospitals make me twitchy. Too many memories. Too many sharp smells and hushed voices. Too much… history. So after saying our goodbyes with promises—especially from Cat—that we’d stop by my dad’s soon to visit, I follow a happy and smiling Cat outside and to my car.
Her beautiful smile doesn’t fade from her lips the entire drive back to my apartment.
Cat
I won’t lie. I’m a total girl when it comes to babies. They’re just so cute and tiny and cuddly. And they smell so good. I remember when my siblings were born. They were like living dolls. I was always so eager to help my parents with feedings, dressing them, and bathtime. Okay, maybe I wasn’t as eager about diaper changes, but I still think I was a pretty great big sister. Still am.
“Kellan and Dean are just the cutest little guys with their heads full of dark hair and chubby pink cheeks,” I tell Ronan as he lets me into his apartment ahead of him, then closes the front door behind us.
“Uh-huh,” Ronan says.
I kick off my shoes, hang up my coat, then meander into the living room.
“You know what’s interesting? That even though they were born a bit early, they don’t look super skinny,” I say with a nod. “Skinny babies tend to look like little old people,” I jabber on as Ronan walks into the living room. “Hopefully any babies we have will be chunky.” I move to the couch. “But having twins can’t be easy. Can you imagine how little sleep we’d get? Twins don’t run in my family though, so, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that.”
