Page 186 of Not Another Yesterday
Just after nine-thirty, the door creaks open, and I look up, startled. Jen. My dad. Penny. They rush in, faces pale, anxious. Jen is at my side in an instant, pulling me into a hug as I rise unsteadily to meet her.
“What happened, Ran?” she asks, her voice muffled against my shoulder. “Shane showed up at my house an hour ago. He said you had to take Cat to the hospital. I’m so sorry I missed your calls.” Her voice breaks. “He said… he said Cat lost the baby?”
Lost the baby.No. More like he was ripped from her, stolen by something violent and sudden.
I nod, my shoulders heavy. “Yeah. She woke up bleeding last night and her contractions came on strong. I just grabbed her and drove,” Isay, too tired to lay out the excruciating details. “They rushed her into surgery to stop the bleeding. The baby…” I pause, swallowing hard. “He didn’t make it.”
Everything goes silent, like the room itself is holding its breath.
He.
“It was a boy.” My voice barely holds. My eyes sting again, hot and unrelenting. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much in my life.
“Oh, Ran,” Jen chokes and takes a small step back to look at her daughter. “Did the doctor tell you how this could have happened?”
“No. They’re running some tests,” I say, my voice strained. “I have no idea,” I sigh, resting my head in my hands.
“How is she?” my dad asks, his deep voice low. He steps beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Solid. Warm.
“She’s been asleep this whole time. The doctor said she’ll be okay. Physically,” I say, and Jen nods, her eyes swimming with tears. “She’ll be able to go home Saturday.”
“How are you holding up, bud?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “Overwhelmed, I guess. Scared. Tired.”
I don’t leave Cat’s side for the next few hours. I just sit there holding her hand, watching her face like it’s the only thing tethering me to the earth. I memorize it—every freckle, every line, every inch of skin I almost lost last night.
Jen and Penny step out to speak with the doctor and come back about twenty minutes later, whispering to my dad. Their voices blend into a dull hum. I’m too tired to make out their words.
Steve calls—Shane must’ve told him. I hand the phone to my dad without saying anything. I’m done explaining. Each time I say it out loud, it feels more real. More painful.
At eleven, Shane and Tori show up. Shane squats down beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder.
“How are you, Ran?” he asks softly.
“Fine,” I say, eyes still locked on Cat.
“You’re not a good liar, you know that?” he says with a small smile. I nod. “Don’t worry about anything. I’ve got you covered at work. Take all the time you need.”
He steps away, joining my dad and Jen at the back of the room.
Half an hour later, Bobby rushes in. “I came as soon as class let out and I got your message,” he tells Jen, slightly out of breath. Then his eyes cut to me. “What happened?” he asks rapid-fire, like he’s demanding answers, like this is something I could’ve prevented.
But I can’t deal with him. Not now. I barely have the energy to stay upright.
Thankfully, Jen and my dad step in. They answer his questions quietly, ushering him away so I can stay beside Cat without interruption.
***
I’m drained, but restless—wired with something jagged. I want to get up, resume pacing, claw my way out of this stillness. But I can’t bring myself to let go of Cat. So I force myself to stay seated, holding her hand, watching her breathe, waiting.
Finally, just after noon, she opens her beautiful hazel eyes.
They find mine instantly.
There are deep shadows under her eyes, stark against the ghostly pallor of her skin. Even her lips have lost their soft pink hue, dulled by blood loss and shock.
“Hey, baby,” I say, my voice breaking as I cradle her hand in both of mine. The emotions in my chest are merciless—grief and relief tearing at each other.
