Page 153 of Not Another Yesterday
Ronan lets out a short, dry laugh. “Yeah, well… I’m sure if someone looked at our family from the outside, it would’ve looked good, too. Military dad. Nurse mom. Two sons. Nice house. No arrests. No way to see what was really happening behind closed doors.”
“Fair,” Frank says.
“I need to see for myself,” Ronan says, tone solid.
“Wait,” I say, looking at him. “You want to go see him?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“What’s his address?” he asks into the phone.
“Forget it,” Frank says. “You’re not doing this alone.”
“Dad—”
“Don’t start. That was the deal. I’m going with you. End of debate.”
Ronan sighs. “Fine. When can we do this?”
“Are you working tomorrow?”
Ronan turns to me, surprise flickering across his face. “I’m supposed to work the day shift tomorrow, but I’m sure Shane will let me work a double for him today.”
“Totally,” Shane calls from the living room.
I can’t help but laugh. Eavesdropper.
“Alright,” Frank says. “I’ll pick you up at seven. It’s about six and a half hours to Camden, and we’ll stay overnight. You can sleep in the car. Sound good?”
“Yeah,” Ronan says, his voice caught somewhere between relief and dread. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Ran, I got your back. Always. We all do,” Frank says. “I love you, bud.”
“Love you, too,” Ronan says quietly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
I wait until he hangs up, then glance at him. “So, were you going to tell me about this, or…?”
He looks at me with those beautiful green eyes. “Eventually,” he says, sheepish. “I asked my dad to help me find my uncle when we were… when we were split up.”
“Why?” I ask gently.
He takes a deep breath. “I was so fucking stuck in my head about… well, you know.”
“I’m pretty sure you still are,” Shane shouts from the living room.
Ronan shakes his head but doesn’t argue. “Anyways, I was talking to Randi one day. It was actually her idea. She thought finding him might help me with this fear I have… that I won’t be able to break the cycle.” His eyes stay on mine, searching, as if trying to see if I understand. I do. “She said that even if things turned out badly—if it turns out he’s an asshole, too—it doesn’t change anything for me because I’m already assuming that whole side of the family is rotten. I realized she’s right—I have nothing to lose and everything to gain,” Ronan says, his voice cracking slightly. He sounds like he’s still trying to convince himself.
I nod, encouraging him to keep going.
“I asked my dad if he could help me find him back in March. Right after… right after I saw you at Murphy’s.”
“Are you scared?” I ask softly.
Ronan hesitates. “Yeah. A lot. I’m worried that if he’s a shit human, too… it’s gonna fuck with my head.”
“Ran, I want to go with you,” I say, worry bubbling in my chest.
But he shakes his head fast. “No, baby, I need you to stay behind.”
