Page 147 of Not Another Yesterday
“Plus, I needed the money. This’ll take a little pressure off. Enough to breathe a little easier, you know?” Not that I really do. Lately it’s like I’ve forgotten how. Between the panic about becoming a father, figuring out how to support Cat, and the thousand ways I’m convinced I’m going to fuck this all up, I’m drowning most days.
Shane’s brow softens with empathy. “You shouldn’t have to sell your soul to breathe.”
I shrug, not trusting myself to respond to that.
“Who’d you sell it to?”
“Some guy from New Hampshire. Picked it up this morning.”
Shane blinks. “Ran, why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been in love with that car since we were kids. Hell, I think you begged my dad to sell it to you before you hit puberty.”
“I was thirteen. Definitely had hit puberty by then,” I say, trying for some levity.
Shane’s right. I was obsessed with his dad’s car the moment I saw it in their garage, collecting dust. On my sixteenth birthday, I scraped together every ounce of courage I had and asked Shane’s dad if he’d sell it to me.
Made me negotiate, too. Not that I had much leverage or really anything to offer. A couple grand I’d saved from bussing tables. I drained my savings and promised to work for free for months. But the car was mine.
Shane huffs out a laugh. “Still. I wish you’d said something.”
“It happened fast,” I say, trying to brush it off. “Guy contacted me the second I listed it. No haggling. He just paid what I asked. Now that I think about it, that probably means I should’ve asked for more. By the time I realized he was serious, he was already on his way. Showed up this morning looking like a kid on Christmas. I swear he had a hard-on just from looking at it; damn near moaned when he sat in it.” I wince at the memory. The look on that guy’s face still makes my skin crawl. I kind of wanted to punch him. Or maybe beg him not to drive off. Or both.
Shane winces. “Fuck. That had to hurt.”
“Like a bitch,” I mutter. “I almost didn’t let go of the keys. Thought about snatching them back and slamming the door in his face.”
“You could’ve,” Shane jokes gently, then falls silent for a second. “But… I get it, man. You’re doing what you gotta do.”
I nod again, this time more slowly.
Shane studies the RAV4, then opens the passenger door and slides into the seat. “Honestly, it’s not the worst. Plenty of room. Great for, you know, hauling diapers and strollers and… existential dread.”
“You’re a dick,” I mutter, but I’m grateful for the grin that tugs at my lips.
We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of that truth hanging between us. Then Shane reaches over and pats the dashboard.
“You know what, Ran? Look at this as you leaving your past behind. The Mustang allowed you to get away. Torun. No more running. This is a new start. New memories. Ones that will be worth a hell of a lot more. Ones that won’t give you nightmares.”
I don’t respond. I’m too busy trying to swallow whatever emotion just crept up and lodged in my throat.
“Fuck, Ran. I can’t believe you’re gonna be a dad,” he says so quietly it’s almost a whisper.
“That makes two of us.” I stare ahead, then huff a quiet laugh. “It’s weird. Yesterday, Cat was getting into the shower—”
Shane raises a suspicious eyebrow. “Where are you going with this?”
“Calm yourself down,” I say, rolling my eyes at him. “Nothing dirty, okay? She was getting into the shower and I swear she wasn’t showing the day before. But then, suddenly… there was this tiny bump. Like she just popped overnight. And… I wouldn’t have noticed if she wasn’t standing there naked, but…” I trail off, remembering the odd warmth that started in the center of my heart and pulsed through every inch of me.
Shane’s expression softens as he studies me. “Are you freaked out?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?” I pause, searching for the right words. “I don’t know what to expect. But she’s so fucking beautiful, Shane. And those new curves? Fuck… I kind of like it,” I say, scrunching my nose like there’s something wrong with me.
But Shane nods. “I’ve always thought pregnant women were really sexy, too,” he says, surprisingly sincere. “It’s like the ultimate femininity, right? Soft, curvy, powerful. And when it’s your baby in there? That’s gotta mess with your head in the best way.”
Yeah, it really fucking does. But I’m not ready to admit that out loud. Not yet. Not when the universe has always found a way to fuck with me the moment I had something even remotely good in my life.
Shane chuckles. “I honestly can’t wait to get Tori knocked up.”
I laugh out loud. “You’re so full of shit.”
