Page 133 of Not Another Yesterday
His eyes snap to me. I see the hurt in them. “You really thought I was going to just ditch you now?”
I give him a small, one-shouldered shrug. “You made it really clear that you didn’t want children. And I thought maybe you’d think I did this on purpose. To trap you into this.”
His jaw ticks once. Twice. “That thought hasn’t crossed my mind once,” he says, voice low, sincere. “Your whole body when you told me? Fuck, I could tell you were terrified. No one fakes that.”
He stops at a red light and turns toward me, gaze locked. “Full disclosure?”
I nod, heart pounding.
“I’m not happy about…” He glances at my midsection, despite there being no visible signs of pregnancy. Yet. “I’m scared shitless. But I also know that you’re scared shitless, too. And regardless of what happens, I need you to know that I love you. I love you so fucking much it’s unbearable sometimes.I. Will. Not. Leave. You.Do you understand me?”
I nod, tears slipping quietly down my cheeks.
The light turns green and he turns back to the road as traffic inches forward.
“I messed up a few months ago. We both did. But my feelings for you never changed. And they’re not going to change now.” His eyes dart to me again, imparting, pleading. “Please believe me. I need you to trust me.”
“I trust you,” I whisper.
He reaches over and finds my hand, moving it gently to rest on his gear shift, his own palm covering mine.
Ronan
When we finally make it to Cat’s doctor’s office, we don’t have to wait too long to be seen.
“Hey, Cat,” her doctor says with a wide smile. “How have you been?”
“Fine, Doctor Simmons. This is my boyfriend, Ronan,” Cat says.
“Nice to meet you,” Cat’s doctor says, and I reciprocate the greeting. Dr. Simmons glances at her tablet. “So you told the nurse you took three pregnancy tests this past Saturday, all positive?”
Cat nods. “Yeah.”
“And when was the first day of your last period?”
Cat hesitates, brow furrowing. “I’m honestly not sure. I thought I had a period a few weeks ago, but now that I think about it, it was really light and short. Not normal at all.”
She glances at me like she’s checking to see how I’m taking this, but I got nothing. I don’t know what qualifies as “normal” when it comes to periods. I’ve never had to think about this stuff before. The more I hear, the more I realize how much I don’t know.
“Okay,” Dr. Simmons says, setting the tablet aside. “Let’s take a look.”
Cat shifts on the table, positioning herself for the exam. I look away out of instinct, like I’ve stepped somewhere private without knocking, like I shouldn’t be here. This feels too intimate, too exposed. But then I remember thatIdid this.Wedid this. I don’t get to look away just because it’s awkward. If Cat’s going through this, I’m going through it too. That’s how this works.
Still, it’s strange. Not because I haven’t seen her naked before—I’ve seen all of her, touched all of her. I’ve had her come apart under my hands, under my mouth, under my body. But this… this is different. This isn’t about pleasure. It’s about responsibility. Consequence. Fear. And something else that I don’t have a name for yet.
“Your cervix is closed, and your uterus is definitely enlarged,” Dr. Simmons says, still mid-exam. “How far along did you think you might be?”
“Four weeks? Maybe?” Cat says.
Dr. Simmons hums. “Hmm. Your uterus is pretty large for just four weeks. Let’s do a quick ultrasound and see what we can see.”
She pulls a machine closer, lowers a sheet over Cat’s legs, and squeezes some clear gel onto her lower belly. Cat inhales sharply.
“Cold?” I ask, and she nods, grimacing.
I move to stand by her side, lacing my fingers with hers as she turns her head toward the screen. I focus on her face for a second, then glance up.
I have no idea what I’m looking at.
