Page 34 of A Fae in Finance
“Oh, Grandma,” I said. “Tell her I love her.” I passed the door. I tried to imagine never getting another hug from my grandma, who was soft and warm and saidI love you I love you I love youin a hoarse litany whenever I called. Something caught in my throat.
“Miriam loves you,” my mom said. I could hear Grandma saying “Oh, Miriam?” through the line. I rounded the waterfall shower and passed the open-air toilet.
“Mom, let’s chat tonight, okay?” I said.
“No, tell me what happened,” she said, her voice closer to the phone now. She must have taken me off speaker. Now the desk, on my right. And the bed again.
“We made a deal.” I started biting my thumbnail. “If I teach faeries about humans for ten years and manage to keep my job, he’ll give me resources to find a way out.” I sat down on the bed next to Doctor Kitten. Whatever style the bedspread had been in the morning, it was now cat fur chic.
“Did you get a copy of the contract?” my mom asked. “You need to define ‘resources.’ In fact, you need to make sure every term is defined. Otherwise, he has wiggle room.”
Doctor Kitten nibbled at my ring. I took it off and put it on the bed for him to bat at.
“I was planning to do that,” I said irritably to my mother. I had not been planning to do that, but it was a fantastic idea.
“Ten years is too long. Didn’t you negotiate?”
“Yeah, down from thirty,” I said, fuming.
“Send me the contract and I’ll take a look.” In the background, I could hear my grandma saying something about dinner. “No, Mom, we won’t have oatmeal for dinner,” my mom added. “I’ll make us tomato soup.”
“Is Grandma sick again?” I asked, sitting down on the bed.
“No,” my mom lied.
“Okay.” I patted Doctor Kitten on the head. “I’m going to hang up and get that contract.”
“Okay! I love you,” she said.
“I love you, too,” I said. I hung up before she could say anything else.
I glanced at the clock. 3:14 p.m.
Stood up and returned to my desk.
Glanced at my inbox. Forty-five unread emails.
Started an email to Levi requesting a video call for the model review.
But I couldn’t do it.
I opened a blank Word document and typed out what the Princeling had said.
You will teach my people of humans, whenever they ask and whatever they ask, for ten years. For that period, you will also retain your job—this should be manageable for you. And if you can complete both of these tasks to my satisfaction, then all of my resources will be laid at your feet.
I started a new Excel spreadsheet and added all of the words we needed to define.
Teach—Miri will provide accurate information to the best of her knowledge and within reasonable expectations; Miri will provide a set number of classes for a set number of hours, to be defined by both parties
Retain—Miri will not resign from her job; if she is fired or laid off, that is still considered fulfillment of this term
Ten years—ten human years based on the Gregorian calendar starting at 9:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time on August 25, 2022
Princeling’s satisfaction—Miri has met all reasonable demands set forth in both the “Teach” and “Retain” definitions
Princeling’s resources—All information, written and oral, and all people, which may provide additional context about human imprisonment in Faerie, and any other documentation or information which may assist Miri in leaving Faerie without dying
Laid at your feet—Accessible to Miri in a way that she can be reasonably expected to use based on her human limitations (e.g., no tomes written in dead languages or extended quests involving the obtention of documents from a dragon’s hoard, etc. etc.)
