Page 2 of A Fae in Finance
“Anyway,” I said, before they could begin discussing my cheekbones in earnest. “Today we just want to talk about the seller’s presentation, to make sure it lines up with your expectations.” I stopped again. My phone buzzed several more times, lit up by a flurry of messages in my Games Games Games group chat. I flipped the screen face down and tried to stay focused.
“Yes,” the Princeling said. “The seller’s presentation. Do you truly think mortals will buy our acorn cups and cobweb curtains?”
“Um,” I said, wishing my manager would join already. “Jeff says people will buy anything if you have a celebrity endorsement.”
Jeff believed that many things could be simplified by the mention of a “celebrity endorsement” but hadn’t yet explained how to obtain one.
None of the faeries appeared reassured by this statement. “And I think that people will want to buy faerie-made products either way,” I added.
The Red Knight unmuted himself and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Would that this debasement were not required.”
The Blue Knight remained muted but rolled his eyes with gusto.
“Look,” I said. “I think it’s a really good thing we’re doing. An important thing. It’ll help people know you—know faeries. Help humans and faeries… be friends. You know, like, uh, globalization.” I winced, experiencing the unique brand of agony that only comes after one has opened one’s own mouth.
“Globalization,” the Princeling repeated, his face wrinkled in either immense pain or disgust. “I know this not. Let us continue. I have many councils scheduled today, sorceress.”
“Right.” I glanced at the attendee list. Still no Jeff. “Not a sorceress. But let’s get started. We’ve got a valuation range for the company.”
I glanced up—with the Princeling, I was never sure how much to explain. “We think that we have an exciting story for investors, because of the, uh, supernatural element.”
Jeff always said “supernatural element.” Jeff said that if a celebrity wouldn’t endorse a product, you could just writesupernatural elementon your materials to achieve a similar effect.
“You have mentioned,” the Princeling noted dryly. “Is there no progress, then?”
“No, there’s a lot of progress! Did you get the new pages we sent?” I leaned forward, smushing Doctor Kitten a bit in my lap. He still wouldn’t move.
The Princeling sighed. “Yes. They were not to our taste.”
This was why Jeff was late, really. He’d taken a strong dislike to our client, in part over differences in creative vision. And to be fair, I also found the Princeling’s vision…creative, for lack of a better word.
“Okay, that’s fine,” I said. “Can you let me know what worked and what didn’t?”
“What worked?” the Princeling repeated. A tiny crease had come between his peaked brows, and I remembered that faeries are quite literal.
“Uh, what you liked about it,” I amended.
“Oh,” he said, almost brightly. “Nothing. I liked nothing.”
Faeries cannot lie.I fought the urge to cringe.
“Okay, cool,” I said instead. “That’s, um, a good start.” It was not really.
“I do not believe it is an auspicious start,” the Gray Knight said, coming off mute again. Her filter had slipped; she was leaning against a tree, silvery bark and silvery eyes and the cheekbones of a movie star. I flushed at the dismissal in her tone and tried to focus. She held her camera at an odd angle, tilted down toward the part in her hair, which should’ve been unflattering but just made her look sharper, mesmerizing like the thin blade of a knife.
“I have heard humans say that,” the Princeling told her. “It means naught.”
“Right,” I said.
“This means correct,” he added.
“Right,” I said again. I felt that I had perhaps lost the plot a bit. “Um, so, Jeff says that buyers will be used to seeing a presentation like the one we shared with you,” I told them. “So maybe we can think about keeping some of the elements of that presentation—”
“Miri, Jeff here,” Jeff interrupted, brusque. “It’s all good, let’s do what the Princeling asks.” He hadn’t turned on his camera. I pushed the annoyance off my face. He’d said he wouldn’t speak.
“Okay, well, um, my lord,” I said, voice rough. I reached with shaking hands to pet Doctor Kitten, who sensed my stress and took this opportunity to jump from my lap. “What would make this presentation more agreeable to you?”
“If it were expulsed from the world,” the Princeling said, “and expunged from the books of heaven and hell.”
