Page 125 of Perfect Storm
He should be thrilled that they were having this conversation but all he felt was vaguely nauseous and like he should absolutely be finding Levi sometime in this century.
“Makes me wonder if I was too quick to dismiss it. Maybe we should . . .I don’t know.” Mo’s smile was guileless. He had no fucking idea what was going on now. He only thought Aidan had been in love with him in June and now, in September, that Aidan was still in love with him.
“You’re trying to say that you want to what . . .dateme?”
“I don’t know?” Mo was still trying to say it, which Aidan got. He had struggled with what to say for three years. It had only been three months for Mo.
“Yeah you do,” Aidan said.
Mo blew out an unsteady breath. “I’m not saying I feel the same. But maybe I could. I think I was too quick to dismiss it before.”
It was not a grand declaration of love. It was not Morris falling to his knees saying he’d made a massive mistake. It was too wishy-washy to be considered any of those things. Way too many “maybes” and “mights.”
Three months ago, Aidan would’ve jumped on it anyway.
Now he just hung back, uncertain what he should say.
“We’re just . . .we’re good together, Aidan,” Mo said.
Aidan had always believed that, but now he wasn’t sure that extended to all the ways he’d once hoped for. But it would becrazyto tell Mo no. The Aidan of three months ago was screaming at him to take Mo up on whatever he was offering. But the Aidan of three months ago didn’t know what it was like to have Levi.
“Yeah, we are. On the field.”
Mo shot him a look. “Seriously?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I told you I was in love with you and then you said it wasn’t going to happen. That was almost four months ago.”
“Yeah. But then I got traded here, and I’d been thinking, and now . . .it was like we got a second chance.” Mo wasn’t begging exactly, but there was a part of Aidan—much quieter now, but not completely silent—that wanted to believe he sort of was.
“I don’t know,” Aidan finally said.
He should tell Mo about Levi, but he didn’t know if he could.
Regardless of anyone currently in his bed or worming their way into his heart, Aidanwassurehe didn’t entirely like the idea oflet’s see how it goes.
That sounded like a recipe forAidan getting his heart broken a second time.And the first time hadn’t exactly been a picnic.
Mo was staring at him like he hadn’t believed how this conversation was going. That was fair; Aidan couldn’t really believe how this conversation was going.
“You don’tknow?” Mo questioned.
Aidan huffed out a breath. “You know how you didn’t know what to tell me three months ago? I don’t know what to fucking say to you now, Mo. This is . . .it’s a lot. I wasn’t expecting it.”
“I know.” Mo had the nerve to look understanding.
Part of Aidan—the heartbroken part from three months ago—wanted to sayyes, if only because if he said yes, maybe it would erase the way he’d felt. But the other part was screaming at him that if he agreed, it would mean that the next time he saw Levi, it wouldn’t be to celebrate his first win as a Thunder player, but to tell him that he’d need to move back to the guest room.
Aidan could not imagine doing that.
He also couldn’t imagine looking Mo in the eye and telling him thatno, he wasn’t interested after everything that had happened.
What would that say about his supposedly strong feelings?
Aidan didn’t know.
He just plain fuckingdidn’t know.
Maybe that was all he could say right now.
