Page 60 of Perfect Storm
“Ouch,” Aidan said.
“It’s not a bad thing. You’re an intense guy. Driven. Successful. Why should you hide it?”
God, so many reasons.
Because it drove everyone away, eventually? Because he’d constructed this vision of himself when he was too young to know any better—when it had felt like the only way he could get through the shit hand he and Riley had been dealt—and he’d only realized later that this version of himself pushed everyone he cared about away?
He was fucking lucky Riley was still willing to have him in his life, after he’d almost epically fuckedthatrelationship up. The fact that they were still close was probably due more to Landry’s loyalty than any forgiveness tour Aidan could perform.
“Why do you think something’s going on with Levi?” Aidan asked, changing the subject. It wasn’t necessarily better, but it was different, and right now that felt better than explaining that sometimes when you fucked up, it was too late to really fix it.
“He flirts with you, pretty much nonstop, and you actually seem to like it. You don’t even brush it off, not like I’ve seen you do to legions of, well, pretty much everyone else over the years.”
It was hard to explain that without telling Dawson everything. And Aidan wasn’t sure he was ready to say Mo’s name out loud, yet. He thought he might be, but what if he wasn’t? What if hebroke down in the middle of one of his favorite lunch spots and he could never come here again?
“Levi’s a fun guy. Fun to have around. Is he flirting?”
Dawson rolled his eyes at Aidan’s fake obliviousness. “Dude. You know he’s flirting with you. You even welcome it. And—” Dawson paused now for dramatic effect. “And you even fucking like it.”
“How do you know that?” It was bad enough to be really seen by Levi; he didn’t know if he wanted to be witnessed by Dawson too.
“Because you flirt back.” Dawson tossed it out like his final argument-winning volley. “And I didn’t even know youcouldflirt.”
“Wow,” Aidan said flatly.
“I’m just saying. You’ve always been above it. But you look at Levi, and it’s like you’re suddenly not.”
For a split second, Aidan wondered what he’d been like with Mo. If he’d been this obvious. If all their teammates had known, had watched him pathetically panting after his friend for ages and just never said. Maybe if they had, he’d have realized it sooner. But as it was, he’d never understood what that feeling was, not until Mo was gone and everything had suddenly been so terrible.
“I . . .” Aidan licked his lips. He still didn’t know how much he should say. But maybe that meant he should tell Dawson everything. The whole goddamn pathetic story. “How long do you have?”
Dawson raised an eyebrow, slumping back in his chair. “I got all day, bro.”
“Uh, so turns out I’m not straight.”
Dawson didn’t look surprised.
“Really? You can’t tell me you knew that.Ididn’t know that,” Aidan complained.
“Honestly, who’s straight anymore?” Dawson asked.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“But probably right,” Dawson argued. “Anyway. So you’re what . . .bi?”
“Does a label matter?” If Dawson was going to be slightly dick-ish about Aidan’s coming out, then Aidan could be slightly dick-ish back.
Dawson grinned. “No way. Course it doesn’t. Anyway. So you figured that out. You wanna tell me how it happened?”
“Not really but I have a feeling you’re not gonna let it go if I don’t.”
“It wasn’t Levi, then,” Dawson said thoughtfully.
“Nope. It was . . .well, an ex-teammate. I didn’t even realize how I felt until he left, went to another team—”
“Oh,oh, are we guessing who it is?” Dawson interrupted. “I can totally get this one right.”
Aidan leveled him with the most brutal look in his arsenal. “Really?”
