Page 107 of Perfect Storm
“I’m freaking out,” Aidan said finally.
“Yeah, no shit,” Levi said, voice rumbling underneath him. “Which part?”
“All the parts?” He knew, of course, what the public Aidans needed to say. That was never a question. “No, that’s not true. I know what I’m supposed to say about it. What I should feel about it.”
“Bro,” Levi said in an aggrieved voice, “I’m not asking Aidan Flynn, QB1 for the Toronto Thunder, right now. I’m in yourbed. You can talk to me. Really talk to me.”
He was. Levi was in his bed because Aidan had invited him there. Would he have done it if he knew Mo was coming back?
Probably yes, because Mo coming back changed the way their offense played on the field, but not really anything else—and God knew, Aidan would have still wanted Levi.
Maybe acting on it would have taken longer, if Mo was around all the time. Maybe Aidan would’ve spent more time trying to get out of his own fucking way. But there was no way it wouldn’t have ended up exactly the same, in the end.
Levi in Aidan’s bed.
“The thing that keeps getting me is that nothing’s really changing,” Aidan said quietly.
“He’s going to be around.”
“Yeah. On the field, sure. Hanging out with us at Vault or whatever bar we find, sure. But nothing else.”
Aidan supposed he should be sad about that. Mad, even. Resigned,surely.But instead, he just sounded matter-of-fact. Like it was just a reality, and he’d accepted it.
“So you’re not like . . .” Levi trailed off. It was unlike Levi to not confront things bluntly; it was one of the things Aidan liked most about him. They had that in common. He’d always know where Levi stood, because he’d never bother to hide it.
“I’m not what?” Aidan could guess, but there was a perverse part of him that wanted Levi to say it out loud.
“Sad or whatever.”
“No,” Aidan said. He could say definitively, no, he was not sad.
Confused. Freaked out. Unsure. All of those things,yes.
What would Mo have to say about this thing with Levi? Was he even going to tell him about this thing with Levi? He’d not told a lot of other teammates. Just Dawson. Wes knew something, too, but not who it was.
“Not sad. That’s uh . . .good,” Levi said.
Normally,before, Mo would have been one of the first people he’d have told. Landry and Riley, too, but the unique circumstances had made telling either of them impossible.
“Yeah,” Aidan said. He wanted to tell Levi things had changed. That he felt different—so fucking different—than he’d felt in July when they’d first talked about this. But chances were Levi would want to know how he felt. Would want him to identify the emotions he was experiencing.
Of course, that was probably only if Levilikedthat things had changed.
Maybe he wouldn’t.
Thatmaybewas fucking Aidan up even more.
How would Levi react if Aidan said,well, actually, I might be sad, but it’s not about Mo. I’m kind of fucked up about you.
“You’re normally so quiet, but you’re freaking me out now,” Levi said. He hesitated. That hesitation was fucking Aidan up even more; when did Levi hesitate? “Should I get Landry on the phone? Riley?”
“No. God, no.” That was easy enough. They’d definitely want him to talk about his feelings.
He wanted to say,I don’t want Landry or Riley. I don’t even really want Mo. I just want . . .you.
But the words stuck in his throat. Maybe that was actually okay because Levi was already here, without Aidan even asking him to be.
He tried to relax into the mattress, into Levi’s big warm body. Found it was actually easier than he thought it might be.
